Travel: Geneva

There’s nothing I enjoy more than being spoiled, so when an opportunity arose to experience La Reserve’s Better-Ageing Spa Programme, I elbowed my way to the front of the queue.

I don’t mind being one of the oldest women at my office, I just resent feeling every minute of those years.

A sprawling hotel set on ten acres of private gardens along the shores of Switzerland’s Lake Geneva, La Reserve offers five star hospitality without a whiff of stuffiness. If anything, it’s a giggle. The light fixtures alone had me smiling, from those alive with roosting birds crafted out of colourful resin, to the cafe’s standing lamps, designed to look like a crazy mash-up of sea urchin and jellyfish, and dripping with faux pearls. There’s even an elephant in the lobby.

My spacious ground floor suite opened onto the lawn overlooking the swimming pool and lake. The décor, in keeping with the overall theme (the hint’s in the hotel’s name) was faux safari – lots of campaign-style furniture and everything in shades of red and sand. My only complaint about the hotel is that it’s under the nearby airport’s flight path, and near the motorway – both of which mean noise. I acclimatised pretty rapidly, but then I am a city mouse.

The spa – where I spent most of my time – is a wonder, though I nearly didn’t make it past the front desk, distracted as I was by the display of sumptuous Serge Lutens perfume. Lingering to sample every one took some time.

Further on is Cafe Lauren, where I ate every breakfast and lunch. It’s very white, very informal – dressing gowns are acceptable dress – and very mellow, with a range of herbal teas on tap, and bowls of dried fruit and nuts on the bar at all times for guests who are feeling peckish. Beyond that is the fitness studio, a 16 metre swimming pool flanked by loungers, and a dizzying range of treatment rooms where guests can experience everything from massages and body wraps, to balenotherapy and hot stone treatments. There are also single-sex saunas and hammams.

My first meeting was with an osteopath who measured my body composition (don’t ask, I won’t tell) and manipulated my joints and spine to ascertain my range of movement. We discussed my health profile and goals, so that he could make specific recommendations to the personal trainer.

The hotel thoughtfully arranged for dinner to be brought to my room each night, to help me avoid temptation in their restaurants, and stick to the special diet they organised, formulated to “smoothly drain, purify and alkalise the body”. The idea is that you detox to get the most out of the range of treatments they have designed to revitalise you.

My diet eliminated gluten, eggs, meat, sugar, dairy and coffee. I didn’t miss any of them, and after four days they found me scratching at the kitchen door, begging the chef for his recipes. A typical dinner consisted of aubergine soup, tuna steak with steamed rice and vegetables, followed by strawberries and sorbet. For breakfast the next morning I was brought a cluster of little bowls filled with apple, pear, and dried apricots. There was green Sencha tea, and a glass of pineapple and mango juice. One lunchtime I had a spelt risotto to die for, made with soy cream instead of butter and cheese.

My second day brought a consultation with the doctor, who explained that this Better-Ageing programme stresses optimum good health, rather than vanity. No two guests have an identical experience because all of our pre-existing conditions, risk factors, and goals vary. Guests who sign on for the 14 day plan also get blood tests to assess such factors as the balance of fatty acids in their system, their risk of diabetes, and thyroid function.

During my long weekend I enjoyed a raft of facials, body scrubs, wraps, and massages, all designed to speed the release of toxins and, let’s be honest, to make me feel great. I was rubbed up the right way by hand as well as with some of the most sophisticated machinery I’ve ever seen. The lympho-drainage device is meant to eliminate blockages and tensions and help cellular regeneration. The special remodelling massage is supposed to combat cellulite, improve tissue firmness and tone, and boost weight loss.

Finally, I had a one-on-one session with their resident personal trainer, who helped me devise a realistic exercise routine for use with the Bosu Balance Trainer I have at home, to continue the good work.

Never has a detox felt more luxurious that it did at La Reserve. If only I could live there all the time.

The Facts Better-Ageing Spa Programmes run for four, seven, or 14 days and are priced accordingly, starting from CHF3,200 (£2,200), excluding flights and accommodation. For more information about the programmes and their costs, visit www.lareserve.ch, or email [email protected]

La Reserve, 301 Route de Lausanne, 1293 Geneva Bellevue, Switzerland; [phone]. Flights to Geneva from Edinburgh with easyJet (www.easyjet.com) start from £23.99 one way, including taxes.