Tragic Verity's memory lives on thanks to selfless note

Verity in her hospital bed during her transfusion

With a mature, selfless nature, she stunned friends and family with her bravery as she battled the devastating auto-immune illness Lupus for most of her short life.

Her parents, Laura and John Young, say she never showed any self-pity or sign of losing her sense of fun, right up until her tragic death last November.

But even they were overwhelmed with a discovery they made as they sorted through her belongings in the family home.

What they found was a note written by Verity just before her death - urging people to donate blood and save lives.

"Big or small, there is always a difference only you can do" was all it said, scrawled in child-like writing.

They instantly knew what it meant. Verity, a former Cargilfield School and Fettes pupil, had just started her own campaign to raise awareness of giving blood, urging hundreds of people to come to events to donate, well aware that the countless transfusions she required as she battled Lupus, would not have been possible if not for kind-hearted donors.

The note must have formed part of her campaign planning - the work of an insightful, intelligent young girl.

"It was finding that paper that made me think we had to carry on with her wishes," explains Laura, 42.

"It was very typical of her. She never once had a moment of feeling sorry for herself. She would get cross, but never showed self-pity. She had a very much "get on with it" attitude - full of fun and smiles no matter how terrible she was feeling."

Today would have been Verity's ninth birthday, and while it will be a day of sadness and reflection for her parents, her sisters Nina, ten, and Isla, four, they are determined her legacy will live on as they look to their future without her.

That is why they are focusing their energies on pursuing her dying wishes by setting up an award in Verity's name. The Tea Pot Trust will honour the unsung heroes of the blood transfusion world - those people who work tirelessly behind the scenes to raise awareness of donating, setting up temporary field hospitals, driving miles to deliver blood or pinning up posters, year after year, in offices, surgeries and hospitals across Scotland to encourage more people to come forward.

Each October, a deserving winner will be chosen by Laura and John, for the "Verity's Outstanding Contribution Award" and presented with a brightly coloured, bespoke teapot in her memory, through the Scottish National Blood Transfusion Service. The tea pot link is simple - it reminds the Young family of the charismatic young girl.

"When she was very poorly and off her food, the only way I could get her to eat or drink was to put on a tea party," says Laura, who recently moved from the New Town to Gullane with her husband and daughters.

"It was a way of all getting together and making sure Verity would at least get some liquids, in a fun way."

As Verity drank slowly from her favourite delicate tea cup and saucer, decorated with roses, her mum would gently pour the tea from an old-fashioned pot which had been in the family for years. Friends and relatives would drop by and join in, taking everyone's mind of the devastating reality of what Verity was going through.

"Having a cup of tea is always associated with relieving stress, so it seemed appropriate for us to use it as our emblem," explains Laura. "Having a trophy didn't seem appropriate for the memory of a child."

Verity was just three when her parents discovered she was severely unwell. With alarmingly swollen joints, she was rushed to Sick Kids where blood tests later showed she had Lupus and would spend the next five years in and out of the hospital, as well as Yorkhill in Glasgow, for life-saving blood transfusions.

She would later be dealt another devastating blow of a cancer diagnosis, meaning gruelling chemotherapy also became a part of her life.

"We would be in Sick Kids," recalls Laura. "And Verity would look out across the car park from her room and see the van with the distinctive Scottish National Blood Transfusion Service logo on it. She would watch as boxes of blood were brought in and she would say, 'Look mum, the van's here. Who do you think the blood is for?' She was very aware of its importance."

In hospital, Laura and John, 45, would read Verity the story of Sandy the Starfish, a book they co-wrote and had illustrated to give their daughter comfort as she struggled to understand why she was ill. Just like Verity, Sandy also needed regular blood tests - so she learned she was not alone.

One day the Youngs hope to have the book published widely, offering help for any family who has a young child undergoing stays in hospital.

Verity died at Rachel House children's hospice in early November after a sudden deterioration. "I suppose it was a blessing at the end of the day for it to be so quick," Laura says.

From here the family take comfort from each other and remain thankful for the years they had with their talented daughter - a bubbly girl who loved to spend time with her relatives and school friends, listen to music and dance.

"We have had a lot of support from the hospice and Verity's medical team," Laura explains. "But it is hard to begin to put into words how this all feels. She was a delightful girl and we are focused on pursuing her wishes."

For more, see www.uklupus.co.uk, www.scotblood.co.uk, www.sandystarfish.net