Arts blog: ‘It turns out I’ve got a killer view of Greyfriars Kirk from my toilet’ - Comedian Taylor Glenn tries to think positive

When I arrived here to kick off my first solo stand-up show, I saw the venues still being constructed.

It was kind of like the 2004 Athens Olympics: scaffolding still up, billowing tents being raised frantically, seats around outdoor pubs smelling like fresh cut lumber. Edinburgh is a stunning city by anyone’s standards, and I love how the freshness of the constructed festival contrasts against its old and looming buildings.

But make no mistake, the freshness is temporary. Paint peels, tents get soiled, posters melt in the rain and create a wet confetti which sticks to your skin if you touch it by accident.

Performers, who rock up looking energised with fresh haircuts and shaved faces and legs, crumple into alcoholic shaggy vagrants who make the pubs smell a lot less appealing than lumber.

Hands which eagerly grabbed flyers start to smack them away, and hills which seem lovely and rolling at the start become dreaded mountains as you make your 800th trip to the Royal Mile to sell yourself again.

My flat for the month, for which I’m paying an amount roughly equivalent to an international adoption fee, is run down in its own right.

The water heater groans like a constipated grandpa and the front doorknob is threatening to fall off any minute now. The mattress sags and the shower doesn’t flow as much as it spits on my face.

But it turns out I’ve got a killer view of the beautiful Greyfriars Kirk from my toilet. There’s something poetic about that and I’m going to hold on to it. Oh, and hope no-one is staring back at me.

• Taylor Glenn – Reverse Psycomedy is at Gilded Balloon Teviot, 11:30pm, until 26 August.