The deep massage is divine, but the jury's out on its cellulite-busting claims

There's nowt that plagues women like cellulite. All ages, shapes and sizes are affected, and indeed 80 to 90 per cent of women have it. Even supermodels, those unearthly beings who catwalk through their lives captivating the rest of us, are known to suffer from it.

But the dreaded orange-peel effect is not a condition. It's not a sign of ill health. We don't "suffer" from cellulite. For most, it's just the norm, but western beauty ideals mean that we find it, well, icky.

There is of course an entire industry devoted to trying to rid ourselves of the stuff, despite medical evidence to suggest that there is no known treatment or cure for cellulite. But then that's never stopped women from slathering themselves in mud in the hope that they will emerge from their sticky chrysalis with the thighs of Gisele Bundchen and the buttocks of Naomi Campbell.

And so I find myself naked and horizontal in Edinburgh's Womankind, ready to have any trace of cottage cheesiness banished from my thighs. I should say that while I sit firmly in the 80-90 per cent bracket, I have minimal cellulite which doesn't really bother me. The Cell U Less Herbal Wrap promises to "aid in the reduction of cellulite". I don't know what that means, but here goes nothing.

My "problem" areas are targeted with organic herbs and spices, while the rest of my body is treated to a sumptuous massage before I'm wrapped up in a sort of hi-tech tinfoil. As I begin to "cook" I can feel a not-unpleasant tingling sensation in my buttocks and thighs. I have been pre-warned about this, and decide that this means that it's working. After showering the lot off, a deep tissue massage completes the treatment.

When I return home, my bottom is pink and the skin is slightly warm and swollen. Again, I have been warned about this, and as promised, it fades within a couple of hours.

So does it work? Since dermatologists have repeatedly assured us that nothing does, I find it difficult to convince myself that it's had any effect. I do the clench test in the mirror and I think that my skin looks a little less dimpled. But it's difficult to tell. It's a pleasant enough treatment that's nicely-priced and it may have some effect, but my advice, ladies, when it comes to ridding yourself of cellulite worries is to learn to live with the stuff.

#149 This article was first published in The Scotsman Magazine on Saturday, March 20, 2010