Shooting and fishing: I am incredibly bad at shooting a sitting or waddling target

The beech nuts are really the pigeons’ last good meal before winter clamps in and everything freezes – an autumnal bonus.

A little group of pigeons work their way around the holly bush out the front under the huge beech tree which one day, but not during my day, is going to go straight through the house in a gale.

The other party works around the back between the washing line and a disused back gate with the corner coping knocked off by the oil lorry.

I have often, in the past, tried to get pigeons on the lawn with a shotgun. But I am incredibly bad at shooting a sitting or waddling target.

If it’s flying I have a chance but somehow – something to do with not closing one eye when taking aim with a shotgun – I find that even at close-ish range I am highly likely to hit only half the target and end up with a “runner”, a wounded bird, which isn’t at all nice for the bird and frustrating for me (although it’s fun for Crumpet, who has to find it in the undergrowth).

So I now use the 1908 single shot BSA .22 with a telescopic sight on stationary pigeons, or indeed, cock pheasants, if they wander within range of the house, which they often do.

We have high holly trees, a favourite roost for pheasants on account of being evergreen and providing year-round shelter (prickly, though). Fortunately for lawn game, the firearm legislation works in their favour as the rifle has to be locked up downstairs in a gun cabinet, so by the time I have gone back upstairs to find the hidden cabinet keys and back down again to get the rifle and up again to take the shot out of the window, the bird is frequently flown. Still, it works about 50 per cent of the time.

Last week we got it right, three mornings running. The window was open just enough to get a shot at the right angle but not enough for the pigeons to spot movement, and I had managed to keep Crumpet behind the kitchen door until I let her out – otherwise she comes upstairs and tries to look out the window, which does no good at all.

Kept in the kitchen, until released, she tears twice around the house before triumphantly finding the motionless bird in the middle of the lawn. She brings the bird back, unfazed by the soft fluffy feathers which a great many dogs won’t touch.

Breasts marinaded in soy sauce and chopped green chillies for 20 mins, seared for just two mins either side.

Spot on.