Parenting: luxury is the hallmark of the former Royal Yacht now berthed in Leith

There's nothing that sets the super-rich apart from the mere loaded than a yacht. That's a proper ocean-going gin palace, minimum length 100 metres. Before the Russians came along with their extraordinary displays of opulence there was only one name that sprang to mind – Britannia.

The seafaring Royals were often photographed on the bows of this vessel until she was decommissioned in 1997, and she now resides in Leith. As she is undoubtedly one of the crown jewels of the Capital's visitor attractions, I thought it was about time we went to have a look at how the other 0.01 per cent like to hit the high seas.

The ship is actually a bit old-fashioned. The Wheel House (now in the visitor centre) and the Bridge look as though they had been designed by Heath Robinson with trumpet-like pipes as the means of communication. Apparently when US General Norman Schwarzkopf saw the Engine Room, a mass of gleaming chrome and brass pipes, he thought it was a museum piece.

Of course, it's all very well being interested in the mechanics of the thing, but what we really wanted to see is where the Royal family actually hung out. The bedrooms are really quite small; those of the Queen and Prince Philip have narrow single beds. My daughter Ellen was quite underwhelmed. The Queen's private sitting room was furnished in a similar manner to those of other grannies up and down her realm.

The Sun Lounge is rather sweet, especially when you find out that much of the furniture was personally chosen on their travels. Above this is a tea room where my daughter was rather taken by a chocolate cake which she couldn't manage to finish.

The entertaining rooms had a bit more grandeur; the huge dining room walls are covered in displays of gifts and curiosities presented to the Queen from around the world, including a huge whale rib found by her husband on a beach.

There are other signs of luxury, such as the garage built specially to house a Rolls Royce, although in latter years this was used as a beer store.

Seeing the staff quarters makes you understand why so much alcohol was required. The regular servicemen lived in cramped conditions which made the Queen's bedroom look like a suite at the Ritz.

The recorded guide revealed lots of interesting facts and figures, for example, the usual weight of luggage was five tons. Lord knows what their excess will be if they ever take to travelling on Ryanair.

Britannia is situated by Ocean Terminal, Leith. A family ticket (two adults and up to three children) costs 32.50. See www.royalyachtbritannia.co.uk