Light at the end of the tunnel for ex-service personnel

THERE was a time when, every night before he went to bed, Henry McClelland would stack up all his pots and pans in front of his kitchen window just in case someone tried to get in. Just who that might have been he didn't know, but what he knew for sure was that his hammer was handy on top of his bedroom wardrobe.

• V1P manager Paul Haylor

You would not want to meet him defending his territory. He has ex-Forces written all over his towering frame.

He can laugh now as he recalls those feelings of "hyper-vigilance", just one of the problems being in the Army left him dealing with on his return to "civvy street". He has also been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and admits to being a "bit OCD".

Perhaps surprising to those not familiar with the Army, Henry hasn't spent decades in war-zones.

The 44-year-old spent just three years and 150 days with The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. But it left him with psychological scars. So much so that while he's happy to talk, he later decides not to have his photograph taken.

Yet Henry is the perfect example of what can be done to help ex-military personnel who feel abandoned and helpless when they leave the support network of the forces.

Sitting in the lounge of Veterans F1rst Point - an organisation established in Edinburgh last year to help ex-servicemen and women deal with their return to civilian life - he exudes a nervous energy as he tells how life after the Argylls' Royal Corp of Transport has been anything but normal.

"I went into the Army straight from school, did 150 days then left," he says. "After a few years I went back. I'm from Stirling originally so Argylls were my local regiment. I didn't do any war combat but I did two tours of Northern Ireland. You know you can have a friend all through primary school, then secondary, then into the Army and suddenly they're gone . . ." he stops.

"In the services it's difficult to open up . . . and anyway you still have to do your job. So you disassociate from whatever it is that's bothering you, and you don't talk about things."

Henry doesn't want to talk about loss he may have experienced. He's done all that in the consultation rooms at V1P's South Charlotte Street base. "I don't think it matters how long you're in, the moment you report for duty your life changes . . . you change," says Henry. "When you're on active service the hours you do are phenomenal. It's not a normal job. You are used to working at a higher stress level and that doesn't exist when you come out, but you can't stop functioning that way.

"I came here with complex problems.

"When I left the Army I couldn't stand still. I spent time down in Brighton, then came back here then went south again. I've now been here for ten years . . . but my marriage broke up . . . I lost my daughter and wife. I was homeless for a while and ended up going back to my parents, but my dad couldn't understand how bad I was."

He continues: "The Army makes you hyper-vigilant. You're always looking out for something to be wrong, it takes a while for that to start to subside.

"You wouldn't recognise me from a year ago," he puts on a 1000-yard stare. "That's how I used to look and I would pile up all my pots and pans in front of the kitchen window and put a hammer on top of the bedroom wardrobe, but I don't do anything like that these days.

"I have felt suicidal. About a year ago I had it all planned. The only light at the end of the tunnel has been this place," he gestures around the V1P lounge.

"People who have no connection with the Army have no idea how different civilian life is and so the general public perceive you as ‘one of those nutters'. Of course, alcohol contributes to that. When you're in the Army you can drink like an animal but it's all contained. There's always someone watching your back, but that's gone in civilian life. Learning that can take time."

"The Army also makes you a bit OCD. It can make you hard to live with."

But Henry believes that thanks to V1P, his future is now very different. "You feel safe here, able to relax. They put me in touch with other services, so I now rent my own flat in Holyrood, and have been on a lifeskills course at the Thistle Foundation, so I can manage things better."

Since V1P begun, more than 300 ex-Forces personnel have been in touch, and manager Paul Hayllor (ex-Navy and Air Force) thinks they have helped around 45 move on with their lives to an extent that they no longer need support.

"It's a safe place," he says. "It's all about helping them get to grips with life without the support of the Forces."

Another ex-Army man V1P has helped is 54-year-old Angus Stirling. A joiner by trade, he was in the Royal Engineers for three years, during which time he did one tour of Northern Ireland and sustained neck injuries as a result of an accident moving logs. He found on leaving the Army he was a different person.

"Whether you realise it or not, when you come out, you're different. People don't realise that being in the Army makes you an insomniac. The training makes you hyper-vigilant. You're never at peace."

Angus was referred to V1P by the Salvation Army as he was living in its Pleasance hostel. "I've now had housing help and I have my own rented place in Clovenstone. I've been on a lifeskills course too.

"I'm also getting help with looking for work, I hope to get some kind of call centre job."

Perhaps the last word should lie with Henry. "I have no criticism of the Army - I volunteered for it. There needs to be places like this to help him and others get to grips with life out of the services.

"By next year I want to start my own business - I'm an electrician to trade. I'll have an Army pension when I'm 60 but at the moment I have Disability Living Allowance and Employment Support benefit. I am doing better . . . I still have my moments, but they're nowhere near as bad as they were."

A FORCE FOR GOOD

VETERANS F1rst Point formed in Edinburgh last April as a project between veterans, the MoD, Scottish Government and NHS Lothian, to offer services to ex-forces staff when they leave the military.

Designed by veterans for veterans, and staffed by veterans, it provides information on benefits and housing, is a place to go to discuss problems, offers social networking and access to mental health experts.

At the South Charlotte Street offices there are private consultation rooms and internet facilities.

There is also a drop-in service weekdays from 1pm to 4.30pm.

For more information, call 0131-220 9920 or visit www.veteransfirstpoint.org.uk