Jonathan Trew: Visitors are encouraged to wear a fez

THIS column had planned on having a lot of fun with David Hasselhoff’s scheduled appearance at the Usher Hall this weekend.

Unfortunately, it has been cancelled. A cruel blow which denies us the pleasure of making mean jokes about the inexplicable taste of the Germans; a people who go doolally for the former Baywatch star’s cheesy mix of leather trousers and soft Hoff rock.

Instead, we have had to look elsewhere for kitsch nonsense and have found salvation in the form of an intriguingly daft club event taking place at Edinburgh’s Bongo Club tomorrow evening. Going by the appealing name of Rock’n’Roll Ping Pong with DJ Ding Dong, it combines ping pong tables, a mini-tournament and a big box of funky vinyl. Visitors are encouraged to wear a fez.

I’m taking bets on how many requests there will be for Stereolab’s Ping Pong song. Or even Dolly Parton and Kris Kristofferson’s duet of said tune. It would seem Boris Johnson was right when, at the Beijing Olympics, he said that whiff whaff was coming home.

On a much more sensible note, the Margins Book and Music Festival is taking place over this weekend at The Arches in Glasgow. It is an intriguing mix of well-established Scottish artists and new talent. Along with parole officer turned novelist Helen Fitzgerald, noir thriller writer Doug Johnstone will be talking dark deeds this afternoon. At 4pm, poetry takes centre stage with a cracking line-up comprising veterans Tom Leonard and Don Paterson, with rising newcomer Billy Letford. Tonight’s gig features Malcolm Middleton with his new band. Support comes from his old Arab Strap sparring partner Aidan Moffat, and Bill Wells.

Tomorrow evening sees a read-through performance of Alasdair Gray’s Fleck in the auditorium at Oran Mor, a space which Gray has spent many a long hour illuminating with his beautiful, bold painting. Fleck, his version of Faust, will be performed by a Who’s Who of contemporary artists including Gray, Alan Bissett, Allan Wilson, Zoe Strachan, Louise Welsh, Chiew Siah-Tei, Rodge Glass, Carl MacDougall and many more.

• www.thebongoclub.co.uk; www.marginsfestival.com