Jonathan Trew: How different a place the world might have been had The Beatles been Dundonian

With the exception, superficially, of the inaugural Scottish Beatles Weekend, this column could not be more Scottish if it failed to qualify for the World Cup while singing Flower of Scotland and deep frying itself in a lager-scented batter.

First up are Piping Live! and the World Pipe Band Championships, held on Glasgow Green from 9am this morning. No place for anyone who can't tell their bag from their blowpipe, the championships promise to be a ding-dong battle between some 8,000 pipers and drummers in 230 bands representing 16 nations.

As well as the bands, there will be Highland games, Highland dancing, the eagerly awaited drum major competition and the always popular beer tent. As part of Piping Live!, the Old Fruitmarket will tonight host the After Worlds Shindig, with Irish band Lunasa, Fiddler's Bid from Shetland and Gaelic newcomers, the Angus Nicolson Trio. Anyone who survives with a functioning liver can tomorrow deliver the coup de grace at the Lord Todd Bar, where a Winter Storm Karaoke closes the Piping Live! official programme.

Music and whisky are also the drivers behind the first Famous Grouse Festival, which began last night and continues today. Held at the Famous Grouse Experience in Crieff, the event includes Celtic rock-funksters Skerryvore, the Gaelic melodies of Manran and the golden tonsils of Jill Jackson, who has gone down a gentler singer-songwriter route than when she was with pop-rockers Speedway. Whisky tastings and cocktail masterclasses will ensure that it all goes with a certain zip.

Further north, Inverness plays host to not just a tattoo, but an enormous historical re-enactment event at Fort George. Organised by Historic Scotland, the Celebration of the Centuries will span from Roman troops to an aerial display by a Spitfire. Naturally, there will be plenty of combat shows, but there will also be Renaissance dancing, a medieval encampment and a 1940s area complete with swing dancers and a big band.

All of which leaves us with the tantalisingly named Scottish Beatles Weekend in Dundee. How different a place the world might have been had The Beatles been Dundonian. A few song titles may have been different anyway – Happiness is a Warm Gun becoming the less enigmatic but more welcoming Happiness is a Warm Pie.

Back in this universe, the weekend is a packed programme of art, books, films, theatre and, of course, music based on the Fab Four. Today's events start with local tribute band Revolver playing from the roof of the Queen Mother Building at Dundee University from noon.

www.pipinglive.co.uk; www.theworlds.co.uk; www.thefamousgrouse.com/festival; www.tattooinverness.org.uk; www.historic-scotland.gov.uk; www.scottishbeatlesweekend.com

- This article was first published in The Scotsman on August 13, 2011