Giving something back after all they did for Sarah

Chris Sutherland has trekked the Sahara and held a series of dinner events to raise funds for Maggie's in memory of his sister, Sarah

As festive periods go, it couldn't get much worse than this. His beautiful, outgoing and energetic twin sister, a stunning dancer, his best friend, was dying of cancer at just 19.

"I remember my mum phoned me on New Year's Day to say Sarah had gone downhill. The next day she died," he says.

"Up until the moment doctors told us there was nothing more they could do for her, I always believed there was a chance - but there wasn't in the end."

Sarah had only a short battle with bowel cancer, dying within six months of the first symptoms. Characteristic of the disease, it attacked fiercely, giving her little chance of survival despite her brave efforts.

It would take many years for Chris, now 28, to come to terms with her death, avoiding all mention of the subject even with the closest of friends. And it will likely take a lifetime for the hurting to stop.

But in his twin sister's memory, the Balerno-raised sales and marketing consultant has made himself a promise to help others affected by the disease and thank those who have helped him on his journey. In fact, sitting in a bar in Slateford, today Chris is smiling as he reveals that as the tenth anniversary of his sister's diagnosis approaches, he has already raised 30,000 for Maggie's Cancer Caring Centres.

Not only has he trekked the Sahara Desert in Sarah's honour, he has hosted numerous dinner parties and dances, each getting bigger and more grand as his desire to bring in as much money as possible for vital cancer services strengthens. From his first fundraising night at Currie Rugby Club back in 2004, later this year he will take over the city's prestigious Balmoral hotel, with the hope of raising a further 10,000 for the charity.

"She'd probably be laughing at me if she were here now," he smiles. "Or she would say I look fat. I know she would be proud though.

"But I'm not doing any of this for praise. I do it because I like the charity and I want to give something back to them for everything they gave to me and my sister."

It was when Sarah was at the Western General receiving treatment that Chris and his family first came across Maggie's.

Sarah had just completed her first year at Bath University where she was studying dance, when chronic back pain stopped her in her tracks. No amount of medication could rid her of the problem, which eventually prompted her to come back home, where her local GP recommended a biopsy, just to be on the safe side.

"It was only ever on the off chance that something was seriously wrong that it was done," says Chris. "But it showed up that there was bowel cancer. She went through the whole process - the chemotherapy, the radiotherapy, but it was too far gone.

"She was only 19 and she was extremely fit."

Sarah made the most of Maggie's, its services and classes, before she moved to the Marie Curie hospice in Fairmilehead where Chris' mum Susan, from Balerno, is now a regular volunteer.

Chris had never had any dealings with any hospice before, his sister's illness the first he had ever dealt with in his short life. She urged him to come to the centre with him to make use of the support staff offer to families. At every stage he did what she wanted, remaining by her side throughout, yet always telling everyone he was fine and coping even though he knew that couldn't be further from the truth.

"The truth was, I never really came to terms with it for a long time," he says. "Even the first few fundraising events I did were difficult when people would come up and say something like, 'Your sister would be very proud of you . . .'

"I never sought counselling as I thought it was for weak people. Also, my dad and my older brother and I just thought that if my mum was okay then we would be. But none of us were really. Over time it built up and I knew I needed to see someone."

The staff at Maggie's, particularly centre manager Andrew Anderson, offered Chris a lifeline of support and to this day he still pays them a visit when he knows he needs to talk.

"My first session was amazing," smiles Chris. "I never knew what to say as I don't usually talk about my feelings. But Andrew helped bring it out of me, even though I was a hard nut to crack."

It was also the staff at Maggie's who encouraged Chris to take his fundraising further, having been impressed by the success of his first venture in Currie when he raised 3500 for his trek across the Sahara Desert, covering 100 miles in four days for the cause.

"I think I lost about two stone on that trip," he laughs. "Some days I couldn't see in front of my face because of the sand storms, other days there was a 60C heat. It was fantastic."

His next fundraiser was at Balerno Bowling Club, the next again at the Edinburgh Mariott hotel in 2008, where more than 180 people turned out in support.

From there, he hosted a James Bond theme night at the George Hotel the year after, and then a ceilidh at the Sheraton Grand in 2010, watching as the money continued to roll in.

This October is the big one - a Rat Pack dinner dance at the Balmoral hotel for 260 people, all of whom will enjoy a three-course meal, live music and a chance to win spectacular gifts from retailers and restaurateurs across the Capital, including jewellery in a "diamond dip".

Chris is organising this event with his partner Shona Langlands whom he lives with in Currie and they are determined to make it a winner. "We're aiming high this time," he laughs.

And it will all be for Sarah, a popular former Dean Park Primary and Balerno High School pupil who Chris admits he was fiercely protective of as they were growing up.

"It's hard to explain what it is like to have a twin," he says. "We were very close. It's strange because there have been so many occasions when I have just wished she could be part of all of this.

"I suppose I would never have known anything about Maggie's if Sarah hadn't got ill. That is the only silver lining to come out of it."

Get Involved

Tickets are now available for Chris Sutherland's Rat Pack-themed dinner dance at the Balmoral hotel on Saturday, October 29, at 7pm, organised in aid of Maggie's Cancer Caring Centres.

The night will include a three-course meal, prepared by staff at the hotel's Michelin-starred restaurant, live music from Edinburgh jazz vocalist Marty Waugh and his ensemble, and a raffle with top prizes from the likes of Links of London and Ortak.

Guests will also have the chance to win dinners at some of the city's finest eateries.

Tickets cost 45 per person and can be bought individually or as tables of ten. For more information, or to book, email [email protected] or call 07708-373 823.

A link to the event can be found at www.maggiescentres.org/centres/edinburgh/fundraising.

For more information about the Maggie's Cancer Caring Centre at the Western General Hospital, contact 0300-123 1801.