Gig review: Miley Cyrus

ONE so rarely gets to type the phrases, “she enters sliding down a giant tongue” or, indeed, “she departs straddling a flying hot dog”.
Ms Cyrus certainly puts on a show, but its not about music. Picture: GettyMs Cyrus certainly puts on a show, but its not about music. Picture: Getty
Ms Cyrus certainly puts on a show, but its not about music. Picture: Getty

Miley Cyrus - The Hydro, Glasgow

***

Whatever else Miley Cyrus’s Bangerz show is, it’s not dull – mostly. The production flings literally everything at the audience: a gold car, dancers in furry animal outfits, a huge animation of surreal cartoons by the guy behind Ren & Stimpy, a pantomime horse, a large puppet ostrich (by this stage I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d ridden it around like Bernie Clifton, but she merely serenades it), a massive bed spawning participants in a surprisingly sexless simulated orgy, a 30ft inflatable model of her late dog, with flashing laser eyes … look, the list is too long: take it from me, it was mental.

Apart, that is, from the obligatory “serious” section, when Miley fronted her band on a small pop-up stage to sing bleaty countrified covers of Bob Dylan, the Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay and Dolly Parton, as she’ll probably revert to doing once this phase of her relentlessly professional career is over. That was, like, totally bo-ring, even though she tried to liven it up by taking constant selfies. For the truth is that while the daft staging, twerking and constant interaction with the crowd is fun, the music itself is either shouty and bad (Love Money Party) or ballady and bad (Drive), with only We Can’t Stop and Wrecking Ball standing out as remotely catchy. But then, why should it be any good? It would only distract from the spectacle.

Seen on 12.05.14