Fishing and Shooting: Get heated over a new pair of wellies

You will be pleased to hear I have acquired a new pair of wellies. Or rather new-to-me wellies. For many years, I have been rather stuffy about Hunters, the original shooting man's welly made famous by Princess Di, who wore the girly version.

But I have finally and shamefully caved in. Like Billy Connolly, I have joined the green welly brigade. It was always possible to avoid being identified as a member and register your superiority by wearing French wellies, which were either a rather washed-out green or dark brown, rather than the British racing green of Hunters.

Today, the smart welly of choice is no longer a welly at all, in the accepted sense, but a leather and canvas Dubarry boot, or one of its many copies. Up until now I had managed quite well on three pairs of wellies. There was a very thin-bottomed pair of polysomething-or-other Dunlops which were about 6, but eventually the soles cracked and, in spite of filling them with Shoe Goo from eBay, they were a bit of a disappointment. Eventually they had to go in the bin. It's moments like this I wish I had a serious boiler/incinerator. The heat generated from a pair of polyurethane wellies must be enough for several baths.

One of the other pairs had come out of a skip. I had met a man throwing out the contents of his father-in-law's garden shed, including a bush saw and 20 yards of building site electric cable with plugs, when I spotted his wellies, a pair of Dickies Landmasters. They are, admittedly, plastic but a considerable improvement on the Dunlops and almost new. The third pair are real rubber black New Zealand boots, even heavier than Argylls, the farmer's favourite, with big ridges over the top of the instep with which to change gear while rounding up sheep on a quad or trials bike. (The way to keep warm in these boots is to insert an insole cut from a 100 per cent wool carpet).

The Hunters, which new would cost over 100, came from one of my cousins who had put them out with his bin. But there didn't appear to be anything wrong with them apart from the fact they had marginally perished at the bend of the big toe on both feet. The joy, however, of a Hunter is that like most expensive boots they are real rubber and can be mended – unlike the cheaper plastic models. Consequently, they can be patched with one of those sticky-backed roundels used to mend inner tubes. Cliff at GT Tyres says he used to get a fair number of farmers in to have their boots patched. But these days they just get new ones. Blame the Single Farm Payment subsidy.

The only downside with patches is that I am not allowed out in company. Why, my daughter asks, would anyone want to be seen with a man wearing boots covered in inner tube patches.

#149 This article was first published in The Scotsman Magazine on Saturday, March 20, 2010