Fiona Duff: There's bound to be a fun-filled Christmas show to be seen at a theatre near you.

It's that time of year again. Oh no it isn't ... oh yes it is. Oh for goodness' sake, of course it is. Time for grown men to dress in a manner which makes Dame Shirley Bassey look casual, dredge up jokes as old as Methuselah, and give us all a darn good night out.

The big two are at the King's Theatres in Glasgow and Edinburgh. In the east coast theatre, the panto triumvirate of Allan Stewart, Andy Gray and Grant Stott are reunited in Jack and the Beanstalk, which promises the biggest giant and tallest beanstalk in pantoland.

Over in Glasgow, Darius Campbell (formerly Danesh) will be pulling on his thigh-length boots to appear as the Prince in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, which, in more than 100 years of pantos at this venue, has never been performed.

This production will be tinged with sadness as Scots star Gerard Kelly, who died last month, was due to appear as Muddles. Stalwart Gavin Mitchell has stepped into the breach, while the show also boasts River City regular Barbara Rafferty.

In Aberdeen, Scotland's favourite funny girl, Elaine C Smith, will be playing Carabosse in Sleeping Beauty. This production is directed by Alex Norton from Taggart, but I doubt there will be a murrrrder ...

Sleeping Beauty also appears a bit further down the coast at the Dundee Rep. While shows here don't tend to cast stars, it's guaranteed to be a great production that will elicit rave reviews from both audiences and critics.

Away from the King's in Edinburgh there are plenty of other shows, such as Mother Goose at the Brunton Theatre. Here the main character is known to her friends as Gertie Ga Ga so I reckon you'll be hard pushed to keep a pokerface (geddit?).

For something a bit different, you could head to the Festival Theatre for The Secret Garden. Adapted from Frances Hodgson Burnett's classic children's novel, this show comes via Broadway and the Royal Shakespeare Company, and what it lacks in jokes will be more than made up for with beautiful music and lyrics.

In Perth, Aladdin promises local humour, from Bruce Fummey as Wishee Washee, Graham Crammond as Widow Twankey and River City's Lorna Craig as the eponymous cheeky hero.

Taking liberties with panto titles is the MacRobert Centre in Stirling with Snow White of the Seven De'Wharffs. The hugely talented Johnny McKnight leads the cast in a show he has both written and directed.

And at Carnegie Hall in Dunfermline, superb children's theatre company Wee Stories will trade beans with Jock and the Beanstalk.

So many to choose from and so little time – by the end of January they'll all be behind you. Sorry.