The Best Christmas TV: From The Smeds and the Smoos to Prince Andrew: The Musical
What do we want from TV at Christmas? Programmes to get us in the mood, whether spiritual, culinary, or jolly; something inoffensive to bring different generations together in front of the box; something to distract the kids while parents frantically wrap presents; something pleasant to fall asleep to, stuffed with food? While we probably don’t want anything too challenging on the day itself, we do expect flashy new treats throughout the week.
But in the age of streaming, when we’re all used to selecting from an increasingly discrete digital menu, and when there are so many different ways of celebrating Christmas – or not celebrating it – all the traditional channels can do is try to offer at least one thing for everybody.
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Hide AdAfter a glorious sixth series, Two Doors Down’s festive offering (Christmas Eve, BBC1, 9.45pm) is the last-minute present you didn’t know you needed. New addition Siobhan Redmond has fitted in brilliantly with the cast (Elaine C Smith, Arabella Weir, Alex Norton, Jonathan Watson, and the rest) as the hyper-anxious, over-sharing Anne-Marie, and this episode sees the usually madly selfish Christine show surprising generosity with her loyalty card points. Or does she?
For the kids, if you can get them to stop running around throwing empty boxes about for 30 minutes, there’s the now traditional Julia Donaldson/Axel Scheffler adaptation. To be honest, The Smeds And The Smoos (Christmas Day, BBC1, 12.30pm) isn’t one of their top tier books; an alien take on Romeo and Juliet, with a happier ending and rather unappealing-looking characters. But until someone adapts Donaldson’s masterpiece The Detective Dog, it’ll do, and Adjoa Anjoh gives her all as the initially prejudiced Grandmother Smoo.
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse (Christmas Day, BBC1, 5.10pm) is an animated fable that’s really for grown-ups rather than children, despite the cuteness of its characters. The voices of Tom Hollander, Idris Elba and Gabriel Byrne are at their most mellifluous, along with youngster Jude Coward Nicoll, as they intone dialogue taken from the bestselling inspirational book by Charlie Mackesy. “You are loved,” says the Fox; “Asking for help isn’t giving up. It’s refusing to give up,” says the Horse. In the midst of a lively family Christmas, this gentle, slow programme might seem dull or corny. But for those for whom it’s a difficult time, because they’re lonely or surrounded by those they may love but not like, perhaps its message of treating yourself with kindness will be comforting.
You can’t be kind all the time, though, even at Christmas, so Prince Andrew: The Musical (29 December, 9pm) is this year’s attempt by Channel 4 to wind up the Royals with an outrageous bit of cheek. Kieran Hodgson, in very different mode from the hapless Gordon in Two Doors Down, gives a good impression (if you shut your eyes) of the royal formerly known as HRH. Munya Chawawa, who made his name with incredibly speedy video parodies during the pandemic, plays King Charles, Harry Enfield is Tony Blair and Baga Chipz is Margaret Thatcher. Yep, you read that one right.The musical is intentionally silly and watching "Andrew" belt out I Nailed It! after his car-crash Newsnight interview is, of course, quite tasteless – though probably no more so than the actual interview itself. Not one to watch with your relative who just can’t understand why we can’t leave the poor royal family to the privacy of their palaces. Better to stick to the safe ground of Strictly Come Dancing: Christmas Special (Christmas Day, BBC1, 5.10pm). With filming crammed in between episodes of the actual competition, this tends to give off a manic air as judges dress up even more than usual and pros do their best with celebrities who’ve had even less time to practise. This year those who couldn’t manage the full series run include former Girl Aloud Nicola Roberts, with her former bandmates cheering her on, and CBeebies’ effervescent George Webster.
Spending Christmas with friends – or just missing them? Mayflies (27 December, BBC1, 9pm), adapted from Andrew O’Hagan’s book, stars Martin Compston and Tony Curran as two mates from a small Scottish town. Over 30 years, their friendship spans music festivals and youthful dreams to middle-aged realities; it’s a tender tale with plenty of moments of rueful recognition for those of a certain age.
Or, of course, there’s the option of just cramming in that “something for everyone” into one programme – the approach Sky Max is trying with Christmas Carole (Christmas Eve, 9pm), yet another version of the Dickens classic. Suranne Jones is a very modern festive entrepreneur who must learn the true meaning of the season, with help from Morecambe and Wise, the kings of Christmas TV Past (played by Jonty Stephens and Ian Ashpitel). Maybe, suggests this comedy-drama, we’d be happier if we just all watched the same Christmas telly together. Well, at least it’s not another repeat.