Lewis Capaldi: Singer on playing live, second album pressure and being Scottish - in his own words from his Netflix documentary

The Scottish singer reveals the highs and lows of his journey to fame in his Netflix documenary, How I’m Feeling Now

Lewis Capaldi shoots from the hip in his Netflix documentary How I’m Feeling Now as he talks about the pressures around making his second album, Broken By Desire To Be Heavenly Sent, due out on May 19. The Scottish star talks about his rise from small town singer to global superstar and opens up about his mental health struggles, Tourette’s, panic attacks, and how he’s learning to deal with anxiety as he goes back on the road.

ON THE DOCUMENTARY

“I’m pretty terrified for people to see this documentary if I’m quite honest, but I’m also really proud of it,” said Capaldi.

Lewis Capaldi: How I'm Feeling Now is streaming on Netflix. Pic: Netflix

ON PLAYING LIVE

The only reason I started writing music was so I could play it live. And I’d really like it to become a full on career thing that I can do until I’m.. you know I won’t live to whatever age f***ing Mick Jagger is, but I just want to do the people around me proud, and myself proud. Going out on a stage in front of 50,000 people that just feels right.

HIS CAREER

I kind of wrestle with the magnitude of things. It’s now become this sort of bigger thing and it means stuff to other people.

Lewis Capaldi recording his new album, from his Netflix documentary, How I'm Feeling Now. Pic: Netflix

ON HIS RISE TO FAME

A global pandemic is only like in the top three weird things that have happened to me in the last three years.

ON SONGWRITING

It’s one of the things I actually care about enough to put that much pressure on myself. If there’s only you putting pressure on yourself then there’s only you who can stop. I’m not confident in my abilities as a songwriter and I think it’s got worse the more successful I’ve got.

Artwork in Glasgow of Lewis Capaldi's Instagram from Lewis Capaldi: How I'm Feeling Now, streaming on Netflix. Pic: Netflix

ON THE PRESSURE TO PRODUCE A SECOND ALBUM

The success of the first one made me feel insecure, self-conscious about my own abilities. I have a song that does well and you’re like yes, let’s get an album that does well, OK cool, nice one, let’s have another single that does well, and it’s like let’s do another album and hopefully that does well. It’s been a looming thing, this sort of pressure. I think I’ve never been more insecure in my life than I am now. It started to get into my head about these pressures… there’s like skin in the game now rather than me just singing my silly little songs. Other people are depending on me.

ON WRITING THE FIRST ALBUM

At times it was a bit nerve-racking because it was like ‘I don’t know how to make an album’ but it turns out if you just write some music you like and release it…

ON WRITING THE SECOND ALBUM

Making the first album, touring, recording… it was as close to like dreams coming true as you can possibly get. But as soon as the first album does well it’s like, can he do it again though? So there’s that tension all the time. You can only be the next big thing for like, a year. The clock’s ticking. Your whole life to write your first album then a year, six months, to write the second.

ON INSTAGRAM

People come up to me and say I love your Instagram and I’d be like ‘I’m a singer too’. I didn’t know quite what I was getting into when I was posting those videos.

ON THE NEW ALBUM

I do feel we’re in a good place. The last two years has been a bit all over the shop and the fact that the album reflects that in some way is kind of going to be a good thing. I’m proud of the album. I do f***ing think it’s great.

ON HAVING TOURETTES

We had to make a stand to say right we need to find what’s happening here, just as this twitch became out of control and I didn’t know what it was. I’ve since learned that I have Tourette’s. …That makes complete sense now when I look back. … Do you know how many people I’ve told I have Tourette’s since then? It’s outrageous. People think I’m bragging. But it’s just good to go ‘I’ve got this thing by the way, this is what it makes me do.’

PANIC ATTACKS

When I have a panic attack I feel like I’m going insane. Completely disconnected from reality, can’t breathe, like I can’t feel my breath going in, it’s wild. And I get dizzy and I feel there’s something up with my head. I’m sweating and my whole body starts to do what my shoulder does, like pure convulsing.

ON MANAGING HIS TOURETTE’S

I know what the steps are to get better. The onus is on me to do it. I can’t expect anybody else to … and I know that in myself I can, I can do it.

ON THERAPY

I speak to a therapist once a week at the moment. I’m doing stuff even when I feel great rather than waiting until I feel s***.

ON IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Imposter Syndrome is something you can have at any level, that bleeds into every single decision you make, everything you do. For me it’s just always seemed quite alien [that] people turn up and see me live and see me play. I love that people do give a f*** and listen to the music. I just don’t get why. But I’m eternally grateful and I f***ing can’t thank people enough. I love you but I will never understand you, that’s what I’m trying to say to you all at home.

ON AN EMAIL FROM ELTON JOHN

I was with Ed Sheeran and telling him about my imposter syndrome situation then Elton sent me an email saying ‘Dear Lewis I was talking to Ed yesterday and we talked about you. He said you were feeling like an imposter. BOLLOCKS. You are totally your own man. Your album is still riding high all over the world and it’s your FIRST ALBUM. You write beautiful songs which resonate with millions of people. You are great live and a wonderful singer. You are also very funny and original. I mean this sincerely. Stop it now please or I will come up to Suffolk and bring out the latent homo in you. Buckets of love, Elton.’

It’s nice to hear stuff, but you obviously still feel a bit like that. Imposter. I don’t think it’s ever going to go away.

ON FRIENDS

The friends I hang about with now are the friends I had in school. Trying to keep your feet on the ground when you don’t know where the f***king ground is a lot of the time, your relationships with your friends is the main thing.

ON BEING SCOTTISH

I love the fact I am a Scottish person. I like the patter people have. the mindset of realists. Everyone just stays on that kind of level of ‘let’s give this a go and we’ll probably f** it up but we’ll have a good time while we do it’. I’ve learned how much I actually do love where I’m from.

Lewis Capaldi How I’m Feeling Now is streaming on Netflix now.