Family: Transgression Park, Ocean Terminal, Edinburgh
But if I was allowed to stay and observe at Edinburgh's biking, blading and boarding haven, I could sit at a table and enjoy a coffee while I watched the spectacular, gravity-defying skills of the youngsters on display.
Open from 10am to 10pm, seven days a week, Transgression Park is for members only so you can either pay for a day membership when you visit or save with the yearly option. Gift vouchers are available and there are lessons and one discipline-only sessions each day. There's also a shop selling everything for the skateboard, inline and BMX fraternity, from boards to bikes to beanies, but there's equipment available for hire too. In fact you can hire the whole place between 9am and 10am at weekends for kids' parties and group hire, and instructors can be booked to provide beginners' lessons included in the price. It's also available for late-night party hire for bigger kids when the park is set up as a dance floor.
As for rules, helmets for under-16s are compulsory and the website dictates there's no riding in the shopping centre, tempting as those gleaming expanses of smooth marble flooring might be, at the risk of being barred from both the centre and the park. There's also a request: "Please don't wear your hood up in the shopping centre or Transgression Park. There is no need – it is dry and warm, after all. The Ocean Terminal security guards like to see everybody's faces, as do we!" And as do I, especially when those faces have a smile plastered from ear to ear.
Since I'm banned (though not for ollying through OT, obviously), the best bit is the webcam, Transgression parkcam, on which I can catch a vague glimpse of my baby as he flips, grinds and grabs his time away, all from the comfort of home. And that way, he can't hear me scream.
Transgression Park, Unit LE3, Ocean Terminal, Leith, Edinburgh, EH6 6JJ, (0131-555 3755, www.transgression park.co.uk). Prices, day membership 2, annual 25, sessions 5.50 (additional sessions 3), full day pass 15, breakdance 3. Equipment hire, BMX 5 per hour/7.50 per session/skateboard 3/5, inline skates 5/7.50 (annual members get 2 off listed price), helmets and padding 1 (free to annual members).