My Festival: Arabella Weir

"I am extremely good at writing letters of complaint. I have an almost 100% success rate".

Two Doors Down star Arabella Weir will be making her Fringe debut this year. Picture: Contributed.

I only have time to see one show in Edinburgh. Why should I go to yours?

Because it’s the first time I’ve EVER been there and, let’s face it, I’ve been around for years! I might not be alive next year, you want to make sure you see me now. Oh yes, and the show’s great!

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Now I think of it, I’ve got time to see two. What else should I definitely go to?

Kieran Hodgson, he’s my co-star in Two Doors Down, but his show is absolutely brilliant, really, really funny and very intelligent indeed. He’s going to be a big star, I reckon.

What are the best and worst things that have happened to you at the Edinburgh festival?

Well, I performed at the Festival in the late 70s in a student production and had to wear a toga and no pants and sleep on the floor throughout the festival, so that was pretty bad. And the best thing that has happened to me is my show nearly selling out before I even got there - that is SO exciting, thrilling and unbelievable, I’m so honoured - better not disappoint now!

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Arabella Weir is back in Two Doors Down

Please describe where you’re living this month.

A gorgeous house in North Queensferry where my friends live, my bedroom window looks right out over the Forth - couldn’t be lovelier and much as I adore Edinburgh, I’m pleased to be out of the densely packed city it is during Festival time.

What’s your favourite place in the city and why?

The Meadows because they remind me of the all the many visits to Edinburgh I would have with my granny who lived in Melrose. Granny would bring me in on the bus for a day’s shopping and we’d get sandwiches and sit on a bench in the Meadows.

Who do you most like spending time with at the festival?

My friend who lives in North Queensferry. She’s from London and moved up to Scotland with her husband and their two boys so she’s left a lot of her close girlfriends and friendships in London so it’s really great to spend time with her when up there.

Where can I find you at 9am, 9pm and 2am?

During the festival, 9am you’ll find me making coffee in my pal’s kitchen, I only have one coffee a day so it has to be perfect, when I travel I take my portable espresso everywhere with me, it cost a crazy amount of money but it’s so worth it. 9pm, I’m going to try not to drink whilst at the festival but I don’t fancy my chances of success so at that time I’ll probably be in a bar with other comics and actor pals. 2am I will definitely be asleep in bed - or going to the lavatory in the middle of the night, a favourite 2am activity.

Tell us something about you that would surprise people.

I am extremely good at writing letters of complaint. I have an almost 100% success rate. I word them very carefully and use ridiculously arcane words so that the recipient thinks ‘oh dear, I’ve got a tedious bore here, I’d better give in, they’re clearly not going to’.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Open my eyes, immediately start worrying about my latest worry du jour whatever that might be - my kids’ future, whether I drank too much the night before (answer is usually yes), if I can kick booze completely (answer is usually no), if it’s ok to have toast for breakfast instead of ‘worthy’ fruit. You know, ordinary concerns of a working woman. Then I have a wee, without fail, there seems to be an endless supply, very odd.

What’s the last thing you do before you go to bed at night?

Listen to a podcast, usually something about a really grim murder. I love podcasts, they’re intelligent, gripping and so interesting. If I go to sleep before the end I have to listen again in the morning. Podcasts are the future.

Arabella Weir: Does My Mum Loom Big in This?, Assembly George Square, Until 25 August