Fringe accommodation: drunk landlords, blow-up beds and £5k bills

Stand-up comedian Mustafa Algiyadi

Ollie Horn

Fringe accommodation being a challenge isn't a new phenomenon. In 2021 I found a place on AirBnB and the host encouraged me to book off-platform to save money. Because I'm smart I said fine, but please prove that you live there first. He sent me a letter addressed to him, to his address, which was good enough for me. The fact that the letter was from some criminal defence solicitors wasn't the red flag it should have been. I stayed one night, and while I was asleep the ceiling completely fell in, all over my bed, which I politely complained about. The landlord was drunk (on beers I'd put in his fridge), tried to beat me up, and set his dog on me to kick me out and keep my money. After a trip to the police station and the hospital, I made it to my show with minutes to spare, told the story on stage, and to my surprise was offered accommodation there and then! Tom, who kindly offered me his spare room, ended up becoming not only a friend but a business partner, and now produces all my fringe shows with me. Spirit of the Fringe!"

Ollie Horn: Comedy for Toxic People (and their friends), Hoots@Potterrow, 9pm, until 24 August

Sarah Roberts

The first year I went to the Fringe, in 2022, I stayed with a woman who charged three of us £4k to stay in her flat for the month. She kept telling us beforehand we’d robbed her blind, and she was only letting us have it for £4k because she trusted us not to have anyone to stay and not to use too much hot water. She was also impossible to get in touch with because she was always on holiday in Tenerife, or Cuba. When we got to the flat there was loads of artwork saying ‘there is no freedom under capitalism’, ‘workers’ rights’ and ‘capitalism is war’. I kind of admired her cognitive dissonance. Turns out she owns multiple properties around Edinburgh. In October 2023 I spoke to her about staying in another 3-bed she owns this summer, and she agreed, this time for £5k. However, she again said we were robbing her blind and after four months of not sending the contract because she was on holiday in Cape Town, she said in May she could no longer have us stay because of the changes to tenancy laws in Scotland. I’ve now thankfully found somewhere else to stay this summer, but it’s unfortunately more than £5k, so maybe we really were robbing her blind (relatively).

Sarah Roberts: Silkworm, Assembly George Square, 10.35pm, until 25 August.

Nerine Skinner

In 2015 I went to the Fringe with my comedy duo, Franks and Skinner. We wanted to save money, and it was our first Fringe, so we thought it would be best to share a room. In hindsight this wasn’t a good plan considering we also didn’t know each other that well having only met about six months earlier. Let’s just say things weren’t ideal and the room was very small for two people with lots of belongings and props. This was the first time I found out I snored as she came back from the shop with ear plugs and some snore strips for me. We had to invest in a blow-up bed as it became apparent that sleeping in the same bed wasn’t going to work as I kicked her a lot. (Don’t go out with me!). She slept on the air bed on the floor and I kept treading on various body parts of hers if I needed the loo in the night. It was such a low point and so intense when working together too. But ultimately it made us as we’re now best friends and I would do it all over again if I could!

Nerine Skinner: The Exorcism of Liz Truss, Just The Tonic, The Caves, 2:40pm, until 25 August.

Michael Kunze

My best accommodation was my first Fringe. We booked a three bed flat in Newtown for about £200 per person, per week. We all had our own rooms, and there were two lounges! To this day I don’t know if it really happened or if it was a fever dream. The worst was a flat overrun by rats. They had no fear. My friend woke up at 3am with a rat sitting on her chest, staring into her soul. We bought traps, but to no avail. In broad daylight a rat sauntered out and stared directly in my eyes with insane alpha rat energy as it ate the peanut butter straight off the trap. That was when I knew I was but a peasant in the kingdom of vermin. This year I managed to snag some subsidised housing offered by the Fringe Society. I emailed as soon as it was announced, only to discover it was all booked, paradoxically weeks before the announcement. After eloquently expressing my frustration (i.e. begging and pleading), they took pity and offered me two weeks, so I’m spending two weeks there, a week somewhere else and a day at another location. Lucky me.

Michael Kunze: Infinity Mirror, Underbelly Cowgate, 12:55 pm, until 25 August.

Mustafa Algiyadi

Last year at the Edinburgh Fringe I stayed in a student dorm for ten days. It was about nine square metres, with a shared bathroom. The best part of the experience was the full Scottish breakfast included every day (not the best part for my arteries though) and the relatively cheaper price compared to other options. However, the room was very small, with no space to hang clothes or store flyers and posters, making it quite inconvenient. The shared bathroom was often busy, leading to long waiting times, and the dorm's location, being a bit outside the city centre, required careful planning for trips back and forth. Despite these downsides, I’m staying at the same place this year because I found availability, and the alternatives are either unavailable or more than double the price. I am bracing myself for a whole month of that confined space, and convincing myself that the haggis will make it all worth the while.

Mustafa Algiyadi: Almost Legal Alien, Just The Tonic – Nucleus, 4.30pm, until 25 August.

Schalk Bezuidenhout

I once found this dream AirBnB for a really good price, but there was a gap in the middle of the Fringe where it was not available and I had to find somewhere else for five days. I booked a guest house, where the guy who checked me in looked like an extra from Trainspotting. He was barefoot with dirty feet. He looked like he hadn’t showered for three days and smelt like he hadn’t showered for five days. My room did not have an en suite. I had to walk down a long hallway to my bathroom. I sleep in a T-shirt and undies, so if I wanted to pee in the middle of the night I had to basically get fully dressed. On my last night I necked a sleeping pill with some red wine to knock myself out, so that I could just sleep, wake up, and get the hell out of there! But the walls were also paper thin… A couple came in late who seemed like they had recently done a tantric workshop, because they carried on FOREVER! I should’ve just bought some heroin from the guy who checked me in.

Schalk Bezuidenhout: Crowd Pleaser, Pleasance Dome, 5.30pm, until 25 August

Amy Matthews

In 2017 I came up for ten days and the only thing I could afford was a converted shipping container in an abandoned car park, which contained six bunk beds (12 people). I paid £410 for the privilege. So now, as an Edinburgh resident, when I get to live in my flat for the month, every time I feel remotely guilty about that, I

picture the Russian man in his Y fronts who woke the shipping container up with opera every morning, and I think, 'nah, I earned this'.

Amy Matthews: Commute with the Foxes, Monkey Barrel, the Tron, 3pm, until 25 August.