My Festival: Marjolein Robertson

There are thousands of shows at this year's Fringe. Please tell us why we should come to yours.

Do you like stand up? Do you also like folktales? Do you want to experience a new genre where both are mashed up together? Then come see my new show! Lein starts with the year I moved to Amsterdam and had the worst year of my life. I lost my flat, my job and then was robbed. But out of that terrible year, I started my journey into comedy and the hour goes on to explore what happens next. I’ve combined this story with a beautiful Scottish folktale of magic and dreams.

If I was real smart I’d give a name to this blend of comedy and folktales. But as you can see with my last two show’s being called ‘Marj’ then ‘O’ and this one as ‘Lein’ I’m still just working out how to spell my own name.

But yes an hour of stand up, a difficult journey in my life and a magical tale to tie it all together.

What will we learn from your show that we didn’t know before?

I have created a new piece of science that can tell us a lot about where you are emotionally as a person. By looking at who you fancy in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Trust me it works. And you can trust me. I have a Masters in Archaeology, was ordained by a website when I was but a youngling in 2003 and one time I even almost completed Super Mario Bros 3.

Genuinely though, this science works. For example:

If you fancy Legolas, that’s lovely, but so basic. His one job is looking into the distance and telling the others what he sees. He’s basically binoculars. But with pretty hair. You need to emotionally mature.

If you prefer Aragorn: oh no, you think you’ve matured, but not emotionally. He’s so emotionally unavailable because he’s soooo worried about his own problems. Which he is running from, by the way. Gondor’s not had a king in 976 years and he’s running around, bursting through doors dripping wet, and seducing elves and women. He’s basically Middle-earth’s answer to a DJ. You need to emotionally mature.

Maybe you like Sam? Because he cares, cooks and will literally carry you up a volcano. Wrong, babe. He’s only carrying one person up that volcano and one person only. Frodo. He’s not got eyes for you. You need to emotionally mature.

Find out the only stable choice at my show.

Marjolein Robertson | Contributed

What’s the best review you’ve ever had, and the worst?

Best review was a five star, pick of the week, review by the List for my show Marj. And the worst review was a two star review for a show I did back in 2018 before I even knew what I was doing as a comedian. Both reviews were equally terrifying as they made me question how can I ever be funnier in the future. Don’t worry. I’m OK… as long as my reviews are.

What are the best and worst things that have happened to you at a festival?

Every year I like to find a special, beautiful and scenic spot that I can sit in every night. Sometimes it’s been a park, sometimes some old building’s steps, one year was up Calton Hill. Every night after my show I would climb up to the top, sit on the monument, looking at all the lights of the city and take in all the excitement of the Festival.

Worst thing is I usually find I’d just sit there and cry in the dark every night.

It’s a busy month.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

I’m a bit of a night owl. So at night I tend to stay up in the dark hours, sit on your house roof, only leaving to swoop down on a mouse or a vole. I’ll devour it raw or take it back to feed my young in the old oak. Then in the morning I wake up screaming surrounded by mouse skulls and crawl down from the tree and pretend to be a human for you. So you can come watch my show at 8.20pm in the Queen Dome, it’s called Marjolein Robertson: Lein and it’s stand up with folklore and takes you on the journey of how I got into stand up and what that is actually like and are any of us even OK. But there’s jokes. Don’t worry.

Marjolein Robertson: Lein, Pleasance Dome, 8.20pm, until 24 August. Robertson’s storytelling show The Hillswick Wedding is at Shedinburgh, 6pm, 4 August only. www.edfringe.com

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