Daddy Cool: 'I have not lost two daughters but gained a furball'

I CAN'T tell you how grateful I am the daughters came home for Christmas. At last I have got the BLOODY CAT - hitherto known as BC - off my back. I was actually enjoying the first few weeks of Empty Nest Syndrome, having a bit more time to devote to myself rather than ferrying children about the town and other sundry chores.

Except that the BC decided to step into the breach as a surrogate child. I didn't ask him to do this but he obviously felt I needed somebody or something to keep me company as I faced up to a life sans offspring. I have not so much lost two daughters but gained a psychotic furball.

Stepping through the door involved stepping over the cat as he bounded - puppy-like - towards me in the manner of an excited toddler. Sitting down to relax became impossible as he would sidle up and leap on to my lap before settling down for a kip. The bedroom door has to be firmly closed at night or he will rush in and make himself at home on the duvet at 3am, purring so loudly that further sleep is impossible. Every morning, BC is sat just outside the door waiting for it to be opened before bowling me over with his hairy enthusiasm.

This never used to happen. He much preferred the company of Daughter No 2, who insisted that what the family needed was a pet sometime in the last decade. No matter how many times I filled his food bowl, ruffled the hair on his little ginger head or knocked golf balls down the garden for him to chase, as soon as he saw either daughter he would disappear like a shot. I must confess that sometimes I envied the hold they had over him. Who paid for his existence, after all? I wasn't getting a lot back.

Now I have eaten those thoughts. If I had wanted a constant companion I would have got a dog. At least you can walk them and get a bit of exercise at the same time and occasionally escape to a warm pub in the pro-cess. Then Daughter No 2 came home for the festive season and the BC has done a disappearing act. He was last seen contentedly curled up and snoozing at the bottom of her bed as she slept. She complained that he had bitten her legs but I assured her that was a sign of affection and left her to it. I don't know who's dreading her going back to university more. Me or him. n