Agony and ecstasy

My new year resolutions include persuading my partner to pop the question, but my mum won't let me have my grandmother's fabulously expensive diamond engagement ring as I had always hoped she would. She doesn't wear it but thinks it's way too precious for someone as "irresponsible" as me. How do you suggest I prise it from her steely grasp?

Family Jewels

Dear Family Jewels

How selfish. Why not ask your mum if you can try it on for size next time you're round at her house. Take a photo of it and have a cheap copy made then you could switch them on a subsequent visit and your mum won't be any the wiser. However, if she is indeed correct and you are way too irresponsible for such an expensive sparkler, why not just stick with the fake until the family jewels are passed on to you in the fullness of time, and your crazy days of carefree hedonism and arriving home minus your accessories after a particularly vigorous post-work drink are well and truly over? Your children will thank you for it. That's if you don't turn out to be as grippy as your mother once you get a taste for flashing expensive bling around.

Dear Agony Aunt

I can only sip small amounts of alcoholic beverages without getting giddy, but my colleagues love getting completely trolleyed at work functions. How can I avoid shelling out a fortune for their huge drinks bills when I've only had half a glass of wine without sounding mean? This holiday season has cost me an arm and a leg!

Half Measures

Dear Half Measures

You can't. You can try making a big song and dance and make sure everyone knows how careful you are when you're ordering your half-glass of wine at the start, but they'll all forget by the end anyway. The trick is to leave the pub or restaurant early and just hand over enough to cover your food and drink costs – you'll have heard all their stories and gossip twice by then anyway, and this will give them the chance to slag you off for being a miserable, teetotal, parsimonious party pooper. Which might well be true, but at least you won't wake up having slept with one of your colleagues, punched your boss and broken the office photocopier.

Dear Agony Aunt

I was feeling a touch careworn around the eyes and jowls recently, so I had a little 'work' done. I decided not to tell my husband as he was dead-set against me getting any kind of cosmetic treatments, and I shoved it on my credit card so he wouldn't know how expensive it was. Now he has been suggesting I go ahead with the treatment after all, as he thinks I could do with "some help". How can he not have noticed that I look years younger?

Fallen Flat

Dear Fallen Flat

Either it's a double bluff because he has found your credit card bill and knows exactly what you've been up to, or it could be that he genuinely hasn't spotted your improvements and now that you've brought it to his attention, you fool, he thinks you do need a few fillers. Either dump him or your surgeon.

Got a social dilemma? Send it to [email protected]