Passions: How I fell in love with a pie making machine

I’ve filled a gap in my life and fallen deeply for a homemade pie maker, writes Martin Gray

You’d never know it from my boyish figure (stop laughing at the back) but I love pies. My Mam’s minced beef and onion. Auntie Bernie’s cheese and potato classic. A Baynes Scotch pie. Fray Bentos anything-but-steak-and-(ugh)-kidney.

But I’ve never been much good at making them. I’m not great at pastry. Recently, though, I came across the genius device that is the home pie maker. Think toastie machine for pastry. Just over £30 gets you a two-pie gadget that, in around ten minutes, turns out the bakes of your dreams – individual and four-pie makers are also available.

Want a fruit pie? Just open a can of apple, blackberry or whatever, slap it in some roll-out chilled pastry – each sheet makes two bottoms and two lids – and voila, a tasty treat. Fancy one of those corned beef bakes Greggs sells in England but not here because in Scotland we’re apparently far too sophisticated to want such a thing? Make a pie! Just chop up a can of the delectable meat, mix with mashed potato, onion and carrot, and Bob’s your baker. If you’re feeling ambitious, make a filling from scratch. Potatoes, cheese, paprika, mustard and onion results in the best veggie bake ever. Or fry some mince, toss in chilli powder, tomatoes and onion for a spicy delight.

Some mince. onion, carrots and celery, and that's supper sorted

Stuck for inspiration? There are loads of suggestions online, some of which don’t even demand a Nigella’s worth of “staple store cupboard ingredients”. Just whack something you fancy into the pastry and see what happens. I was thinking Desperate Dan’s cow pie, but it’s tough to close the machine lid on a pair of three foot horns…

There’s little to beat the smell of the filling cooking inside the pastry as I sort a healthy side salad (yeah, right, it’s chips with everything). Seriously, very little effort produces something deep filled and delicious, the kind of thing you’d find at a farmers’ market for four pounds and up. The satisfaction is off the scale.

OK, I have had some misses, but that’s more due to my greedy habit of overfilling the pastry shell rather than a problem with the equipment.

If Sweeney Todd had purchased a piemaker he’d have had no need for that tricky minx Mrs Lovett.

Hang on, human flesh. I’ve not tried that yet…

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