Janet Christie: Mum's the word

Youngest Child signs herself in when I drop her at a club. I watch her put a big tick in the box then tell her: "What a great tick, marvellous. Much better than my ticks."

Actually it's more like a big V, not a very good tick at all. Maybe I should have said, "Do it again, that's rubbish. Do a proper tick."

Harsh? Possibly, but the latest childcare manual Nurtureshock: why everything we think about raising our children is wrong, handed to me by a weary colleague with the words, "It's not too late for you", says we shouldn't overpraise. We'll turn our kids into praise junkies who can't handle failure and have no persistence.

So now she'll go through her life doing ticks like Vs. Or she'll realise, and be angry with me for praising her mistakes. I've been here before, with Eldest Child returning home from primary school, furious. "The word is animal. Not ameral. Why didn't you tell me?" he raged. (Because it made me smile.)

I vow to point out mistakes. But then Youngest is selecting chocolates from a box of Celebrations. "Diary Milk for me!" and I ask her three times to say it because it makes me smile. Then don't correct her. And when she describes balancing on the "high bean" in gym, I don't say it's beam, with an m, but tell her she's amazing and tuck her words away to get me through the day, like a chunk of Diary Milk stuck in my cheek.

No persistence, me. I blame my mother. She over-praised.

• This article was first published in the Scotsman, March 6, 2010