Arts diary: We may well survive Christmas, but it's still going to be fairly glum…

MISERABLE Christmas songs are becoming a Scottish tradition. For a few heady weeks in December 2007 it looked as if former Arab Strapper Malcolm Middleton might actually be in with a shout for the Christmas Number One spot with his morose little ditty We're All Going To Die.

He didn't win of course (Leon Jackson did) but the video of him mooching drunkenly around London in a Santa Suit to a chorus of "You're gonna die, you're gonna die, you're gonna die alone" was an instant classic, and it remains a must-see for anyone suffering from festive fatigue.

Now, three years on, Glasgow band Porch Song Anthology are picking up where Middleton left off with their defiantly downbeat number, Christmas Is Cold, released on Monday.

Billed as "a bittersweet tale of loneliness, longing and hope," it isn't quite as gleefully nihilistic as We're All Going to Die, but it's still a decidedly glum affair.

In a voice tinged with regret, frontwoman Rachael Devine sings a story of heartbreak and loss over plaintive banjo, guitar and sleigh bell backing. Sample lyric: "I fear I'll never / See you again / Just as long as the North Star / Is my only friend." A bit short on festive cheer then, but given that the song only cost 57.63 to make, and given that the final, rabble-rousing chorus was bolstered by the voices of "a bunch of vagabonds, drunks and some genuinely nice people with lovely voices," a better antidote to the MOR rubbish usually churned out by the TV talent show production line at this time of year is difficult to imagine.

Global sensation

ALSO dipping a toe in the waters of downbeat Yuletide songsmithery is Edinburgh-based Dean Owens. His track Snowglobe, out on 6 December, is described as "a bittersweet beauty, conveying that sensation of feeling trapped by something that is supposed to make us joyful" and it has already drawn praise from such luminaries as Eddi Reader and Coleen Nolan.

"A couple of years back, while suffering from a bout of depression I became very aware of the pressures of this time of year," Owens says. "Snowglobe is a song about struggling to cope during the festive season, though I feel it also has a hopeful spirit about it."

All the profits from sales of Snowglobe will go to the mental health charity Mind. As Irvine Welsh, another celebrity fan, puts it: "A great song, a great artist and a great cause. What's not to like? Buy it, play it and feel better about the world."

Medallion Man

CONGRATULATIONS to Professor Richard Demarco CBE HRSA, who is to be presented with both German and Polish honours this evening in recognition of his role in bringing artists from the two countries to a worldwide audience. The veteran arts impresario is to receive the Cross of the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany and the Polish Bene Merito award at a lecture at the Royal Scottish Academy.

Demarco has already received a whole host of honours, including the Italian Order of Merit Cavaliere della Repubblica d'Italia and the French Chevalier des Arts et Lettres. Apart from members of the Royal Family, who seem to get gongs just for being born (check out Prince Charles's various "medals" next time he's on parade) can anyone think of a more decorated public figure? Answers on the back of a postcard please.