The five best one-liners from the Celtic 2018 AGM

Club AGM's can sometimes be depressing, they can often be quite fiery. But when you're riding the wave of seven consecutive Ladbrokes Premiership titles, millions in the bank, and have recently defeated one of the biggest clubs in Germany in front of an electric home crowd, well, things are understandably a little more jovial.
Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers and chief executive Peter Lawwell. Picture: SNSCeltic manager Brendan Rodgers and chief executive Peter Lawwell. Picture: SNS
Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers and chief executive Peter Lawwell. Picture: SNS
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Martin O'Neill and Roy Keane leave Republic of Ireland

That’s not to say there wasn’t some serious chatter at the 2018 Celtic AGM. There was the ongoing matter of resolution 12, which relates to how Rangers were awarded a Uefa licence by the SFA before their financial implosion in 2012. There was also the matter of sectarian chanting, the frustrations of the summer transfer window and, as expected, a claim that the SFA was “rotten to the core”.

However, sprinkled throughout proceedings were a number of gags that had the crowd giggling away in laughter. Here’s five of the best.

Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers and chief executive Peter Lawwell. Picture: SNSCeltic manager Brendan Rodgers and chief executive Peter Lawwell. Picture: SNS
Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers and chief executive Peter Lawwell. Picture: SNS

Dad patter

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It’s not unusual for fans to air a very specific grievance related to matters on the park in a club AGM, even if that’s not quite the point of these meetings. On this occasion, one older fan decided he’d had enough of a particular weakness.

“No player since Roy Aitken has been able to take a shy!” he exclaimed, much to the amusement of all of those in the room.

The ‘Tonight’s the Night’ Hotel

One shareholder suggested, not entirely seriously, that Rod Stewart helps to pay for the club museum and hotel as a lasting legacy. Given Rod’s familiarity and prowess in hotel rooms through the years, this may not be a bad idea. Chairman Ian Bankier instead jokes that the fan looks nothing like Stewart... guess you had to be there.

The transfer news everyone wants to hear

As the Celtic board explained and defended the frustrations of the summer window, a fan pipped up with the transfer on everybody’s minds.

“Talking about transfers, are we going to get Chris Sutton on Sky?” he asked.

Poor Marvin

He may be a German international, he may be one of the highest players at the club, but in the confines of the Celtic AGM, outcast centre-back Marvin Compper is just the butt of the jokes.

A fan, talking to manager Brendan Rodgers: “Why Marvin Compper and has he been worth the outlay?”

Bankier: “Next question!”

Let’s all laugh at Rangers

It wouldn’t be a modern-day Celtic AGM without a chuckle at the misfortune of their closest rivals. In this case it was a laugh at Rangers’ recent Hampden defeat to Aberdeen.

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When the semi-final venue debacle occurred, it was pointed out by many a Celtic fan that Rangers had not been inconvenienced at all by the late change, as their match remained in their own city with a reasonable kick-off time.

A support exclaimed: “Rangers got preferential treatment.”

To which chief executive Peter Lawwell responded: “That worked out well for them, then.”