Scottish football is a swirling, convoluted mess that we can't shake - this week confirmed it

Rangers fans at Rugby Park was a key talking point this week. Picture: SNS
Rangers fans at Rugby Park was a key talking point this week. Picture: SNS
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Scottish football. It has barely been back a week and it is already cooking up a storm.

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Only, it hasn't really been back a week. It never left. The season ends but there is no escaping it.

Dundee United manage to make a penalty shoot-out look like one of the equations put on the MIT board in Good Will Hunting. Only they didn't have a genius protagonist. Just Peter Pawlett.

A fitting end to the season for country which does patter football like no one else.

Yet, blink and you miss Women's World Cup and pre-season break. We were back for European qualifiers and Betfred Cup stages. A holiday for the players amounts to an afternoon stuck in traffic rather than a trip to Dubai where they can see every player them came up against last campaign.

As we all know, however, the 'proper' start is when the league season kicks off in earnest. Dunfermline Athletic and Dundee had the pleasure of doing so last Friday night.

It took less than 40 minutes for the away fans at East End Park launch into one of their famous booing mega-mixes. One fan was so irate of being run ragged by former Dundee United star Ryan Dow they launched a juice - no doubt at a cost - at the player.

If you are not rubbing your hands at that, you don't deserve Scottish football.

Lenin - Russian revolutionary not Celtic manager - once said: "There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen."

He obviously had never expected something to come along quite like Scottish football when he said that first part.

That (in)famous scene from the classic 90s disaster movie Twister. You know the one. The one with the cow.

Scottish football is both the twister and the cow. A swirling, convoluted mess. You know you should get out the road but bloody hell it's entertaining. The destruction!

Celtic slam 7 (SEVEN) past St Johnstone on the opening day, Raith Rovers boss John McGlynn has to be treated in the technical area for tripping over, Hearts are insipid without Steven Naismith - some things never change - and Kilmarnock v Rangers, plus the fallout, was - trying to think of the correct word here - something.

Yet after the first weekend of actual league football, there were many not even talking about the football. The late goals, the statement from Celtic, hapless Hamilton and the topsy turvy encounter at Pittodrie.

READ MORE: 'If seen deliberately feeding seagulls you will be removed' - Queen of the South issue message to fans

The scenes at Rugby Park were distressing and understandably required discussion.

Fans celebrating a late winner with their players How dare they?! Those standing on the roof of the disabled area which caved in? Irresponsible at very best. Sectarian signing? A continued blight on Scottish football and it wasn't exclusive to the away end at Rugby Park.

As for the incidents outside the ground, it is hard to have a valued opinion unless you were in that situation. But it is concerning such scenarios are occurring these days, especially when you consider it happened to Celtic fans at Parkhead recently also.

The aftermath of the Killie v Rangers game was Scottish football at its finest and also worst. Hand-wringing, point scoring, one-upmanship, pettiness, passing the blame, statement-mania, plenty of pontificating and conclusion jumping. There was a distinct lack of maturity.

It can leave you tired and fed-up, but just as some supporters club with half a dozen fans wade in with their opinion, the expeditious nature of the game sees us move on.

The Rangers 'YouTuber' who appeared as a fan on Sportscene's new fan feature, the Hearts pitch looking like the whole of Section N had launched a flare on to the turf, Kieran Tierney rightly becoming the most expensive Scottish player of all time and Queen of the South warning fans they face ejection if they feed seagulls - the true evil of Scottish football.

But you know what, some football actually took place across the past week and will take place across the next week.

And, it's the football which is the calm before the storm. It's the football which offers respite, the ability to take a collective breath and remember why we allow ourselves to be swept up in all this nonsense.

Get to a game, escape the noise and whatever you do watch out for those seagulls (and cows).