Why the last week in Scottish football is a mere warm-up for the start of the season

It has been another interesting week in Scottish football. Joel Sked looks back as fans continue to look forward until the start of the season.
The Tunnocks' reveal is an early highlight of the Scottish football season. Picture: SNSThe Tunnocks' reveal is an early highlight of the Scottish football season. Picture: SNS
The Tunnocks' reveal is an early highlight of the Scottish football season. Picture: SNS

It has been 33 days since Callum Booth's missed penalty for Dundee United against St Mirren brought the curtain down on the SPFL season.

To many fans whose weekends are shaped by the football, the away days or the traipse back to the local questioning every decision you have made, there will be a yearning for those days to return.

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In recent weeks, they may have found themselves resembling John Travolta's character in Pulp Fiction, Vincent Vega, looking confused as his name is said by Mia Wallace, played by Uma Thurman, over the intercom as Dusty Springfield's Son of a Preacher Man plays in the background.

The good news for those fans is that it begins all again in exactly two weeks with the start of the Betfred Cup as Heart of Midlothian welcome Dundee United to Tynecastle Park.

If the past seven days are anything to go by we are in for another eventful, entertaining and mystifying campaign where the worn phrase 'only in Scottish football' continues to be exhausted.

That being said, there was finally good reason to use the 'quip'. Fans quickly scrolling through Twitter on Wednesday will likely have had their eyes assaulted by a never ending attack of red and yellow as the draw for the rebranded Challenge Cup was made.

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From the Ramsdens Cup to the Petrofac Training Cup, the Irn-Bru Cup to the newly installed Tunnock's Caramel Wafer Challenge Cup.

Not just Tunnock's Challenge Cup but specifically named after the Caramel Wafer - an overrated staple of your gran's biscuit tin.

One fan on Twitter observed: "It's appropriate for the tournament. Inferior product that people with sense don't much care about." Eight participants are once again drawn from England, Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland and Wales.

It would have been given greater clout with the champion Tunnock's Tea Cake.

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Yet, seeing the footage and pictures from the draw, it screamed Scottish football, if Scottish football was produced by Charlie Brooker. Surreal, unique but immensely fascinating.

When it comes to cup draws in Scotland Rod Stewart is held as the doyen for his drunken antics in the past, but Sir Boyd Tunnock may run him close. In his white lab coat with specs, he had the look of a nutty but lovable scientist who accidentally turned his grandchildren into a pair of slippers.

Ever a company man, at one point he couldn't resist, hoisting a caramel wafer from his pocket and tucking in.

If the draw was entertaining and strangely captivating - the branding going down well - Dave King's comments accompanying the news that Rangers had sold a record number of season tickets were met with a rueful look and roll of the eyes.

He's at it again, folks.

King wrote: “I have said before, but it is worth repeating, that Rangers is special and, having won more trophies than any other club in the world, we have a genuinely unique place in football history. We must keep it that way while welcoming everyone who wants to be part of this wonderful institution.

“You have set a new high and I am immensely proud to be chairman of this great club. Let’s continue to do the right things and project Rangers as the country’s premier club."

He spotted an opportunity to have a jab at Celtic and you better believe he took it, inferring that the eight-in-a-row Scottish champions were 'secondary', behind Rangers, a club who last won a meaningful trophy in *checks notes*... 2011.

It is not the first time King has issued a grandiose statement and one is wondering if it would be better for him to tone it down until there is a semblance of success on the field. Yet, he is appealing to the Rangers fan base and, whether it goes as far as propaganda, it is what they want to read - their continued support being celebrated.

It was by no means the worst thing said this week.

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Former SPL chief and current 'deliverer-of-rubbish-takes' Roger Mitchell had his say on Hibs, Paul Heckinbottom and their recruitment.

He tweeted: "Possibly the saddest thing I’ve ever read. Never heard of him; never heard of that team; who is Heckingbottom? All from the team that once brought us George Best. Which WAS a real statement. The acceptance of drivel really gets my goat. We’ve fallen this far? Forest Green Rovers?"

Of course, he failed to mention that it was a washed-up Geroge Best and Hibs were relegated.

Remarkably, the former Celtic striker, now remembered more for his off-field 'exploits' and Jonathan Watson's satirical portrayal of him than what he achieved on the field, takes the award for a withering column in the Scottish Sun stating that Partick Thistle have scored a "costly own goal" with their away strip which supports LGBT community.

The winning line?

"The Firhill faithful, from what I could see, were split on the issue, but it also demonstrated how many dinosaurs there are out there."

It was a viewpoint which brought many fans together in their condemnation of his column with McAvennie reaching for the tried, tested and tired "it's all about opinions".

And there is nothing quite like Scottish football fans coming together in unison than defending our game.

Charlton boss Lee Bowyer and Addicks fans, stung by Joe Aribo's defection to Rangers, questioned the player's decision with the patronising or downright degrading tone Scottish fans are used to.

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A basket case of a club who have just won promotion from the third tier in England with a haughty demeanour. The ridicule is only allowed to come from those of us who suffer and endure football north of the border on a weekly basis, yet still yearning for more.

The transfer window is regarded as silly season but in Scotland it isn't so much a season as a way of live. This past week is merely a portent for what is to come when the football kicks off once more in 14 days' time.