Seven Scottish football players with rather unusual names

Rangers supposed interest in Rod Fanni - please, stop laughing at the back - has reminded Scottish football fans of other peculiar names we've come across throughout the years.
A rare sighting of Rafael Scheidt in action during his brief time at Celtic. Picture: SNSA rare sighting of Rafael Scheidt in action during his brief time at Celtic. Picture: SNS
A rare sighting of Rafael Scheidt in action during his brief time at Celtic. Picture: SNS

Whether it’s a strange name in general, or one that doesn’t fit the profession of footballer, here are seven that immediately sprung to mind. If there’s others you think we’ve missed, make sure to let us know in the comments.

Max Cream

This much-travelled American, who started his professional career at Dundee United and then Dunfermline, sounds like product you request from the Boots pharmacist when that troublesome rash won’t go away.

Nicky Banger

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Another journeyman footballer, Banger had a brief spell at Dundee in the middle of a career largely spent down south. His name isn’t actually that funny if said correctly, as his surname is pronounced “Bain-ger”. However, to the ignorant ear, his name sounds like the first question of a post-Lads night out recap.

Emmanuel Panther

Not so much funny, more unusual (and very cool). ‘Manny’ Panther was once viewed as a terrific Scottish football prospect but his career never reached the heights expected after he sustained a terrible knee injury while still a youngster at St Johnstone.

Jean-Jacques Misse Misse

Perhaps the most unfortunate name for a striker to have. The Cameroonian spent a brief period at Dundee United in 1998. He had previously scored goals for fun at Charleroi in Belgium, but succumbed to nominative determinism at most other destinations.

Rafael Scheidt

Scheidt by name and *coughs* by nature. Celtic had to intentionally mispronounce the name of their £5 million signing from Brazilian side Gremio because, well, you know the story. Despite having three caps for the national team, who at the time were in between successive World Cup final appearances, he failed to settle in Glasgow, playing only three times. He’s widely regarded as one of the worst signings in British football history.

Danny Invincibile

Another name continuously mispronounced, Invincibile (In-vin-chee-beelie) was referred to throughout his eight years as if the third ‘i’ in his name didn’t exist. It is definitely more fun to call a player invincible, but you’d have thought we’d eventually start calling him his actual name after that much time.

David Merdy

You need to have a basic grasp of French swear words to find this name amusing. Merde means, erm, excrement in France, so it was a little surprising to see a French player with a surname only one letter out. Kilmarnock fans would say he lived up to it during his season at Rugby Park.

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