Nine of Csaba Laszlo’s most memorable quotes

Csaba Laszlo's post-match press conferences were always memorable affairs. Picture: Jane Barlow

Some names mentioned so far include former Inverness striker Barry Wilson, ex-Scotland boss Craig Levein, and former Hearts boss Csaba Laszlo, who has been invited to submit an application for the post.

There is no doubt that the Hungarian’s first season in Scotland was a success as he guided Hearts to third in the SPL. However, he was sacked halfway through his second season and his managerial record has been patchy since, having been dismissed by both Belgian side Charleroi and the Lithuanian national team.

While there is uncertainty over his pedigree, one assurance for Caley Thistle fans is that the 49-year old will come out with more than his fair share of memorable quotes, if his time at Hearts is anything to go by.

Here are just a few of them.

On the coverage of the Old Firm in Scotland:

“Always on the television is Rangers, Celtic, Celtic, Rangers, Rangers, Celtic and other teams only get on the television one or two times, but only if they play against Celtic.”

Responding to speculation regarding his future:

“At the moment the priority for me is Hearts. My priority is Hearts and no more! My family and myself would like to stay, definitely!

“I go now on holiday for the next three hours then work again. My children are in school and my wife would like to divorce me because I told her she can go alone on the holiday as I am here to work.”

His take on supporter perception when he first joined Hearts:

“I am not stupid. The fans hear Csaba Laszlo. They think ‘Who? Ah yes, he kicked the Hearts record goalscorer’. Ugh...Uganda?! Where is Uganda?! Some people, if you ask about Kampala, he think ‘this is a nice food!’ but yeah, it’s true I am not stupid.”

Laszlo’s summary of a 2-2 draw at Ibrox after the visitors battled back from a 2-0 deficit:

“If you see that your team plays this s**t, like we did in the first half, you can just run out of the stadium and say ‘it’s Mothers’ Day tomorrow’ and forget about the football. But we are guys, we are at Ibrox and we are still in the first half. I wanted to kill some of the people in my dressing room at half time, but then I have to go to jail and we don’t get a point! But the second half was sexy.”

When asked whether the board would sanction a much needed striker purchase:

“If I give an answer about buying a striker in January, I won’t be the coach here tomorrow.”

After a 1-1 draw with Celtic at Tynecastle where the hosts conceded a first minute goal:

“When I look at some of the goals we’ve given to the opposition this season it makes me crazy. We gave away Christmas presents at that time of the year. Then against Rangers we gave them Mother’s Day gifts at Ibrox. And in this game we gave Celtic the present of a huge Easter egg early on.”

Reacting to criticism that Hearts do not play an attractive brand of football:

“It is not possible to win and be ugly, when you win you are beautiful.”

Adopting a philosophical attitude after Craig Levein criticised Hearts of time-wasting tactics:

“You must look at what happened here at my house, before I go out and talk about the other house about the neighbour. You must look to keep my house clean and you don’t go to look for the other wives or you have a problem with your wife.”

On the versaitlity shown by defender/midfielder Eggert Jonsson:

“We have almost made violence against Eggert because we have put him in every position. You could go to jail if you did this outside football. But his performances, for me, have been fantastic.”

• Article courtesy of terracepodcast.net - ‘an alternative look at the country’s beautiful game’ covering all four Scottish divisions. You can also follow @terracepodcast on Twitter.