Burst Baw: Offside rule explained on the back of a 50p coin

This outrageously audacious piece of design neatly ends all those when-the-ball-was-played arguments in a pocket-sized format.

The limited edition coin, produced to commemorate the London 2012 Olympics and designed by production journalist Neil Wolfson.

“Neil Wolfson designed his coin in the hope that it would encapsulate football in a simple image,” explains the Royal Mint website.

“As the offside rule is a perennial talking point, the image is designed to provoke discussion, which was what he was aiming for.”

Hartson gets in a Real mix-up

MOST of us have experienced that feeling where you turn up at work only to find out you’re actually down to be off.

Last night it was the turn of Celtic legend John Hartson to experience this bizarre sensation after he turned up to take part in the Real Radio Phone-in before being swiftly sent on his way.

The Welsh pundit tweeted: “Had the biggest stinker ever. Just got to Real Radio studios and realised I’m on tomorrow the 4th and not tonight! Plonker!! Totally lost track of the days and dates!!”

Last night it was the turn of Celtic legend John Hartson to experience this bizarre sensation after he turned up to take part in the Real Radio Phone-in before being swiftly sent on his way.

Andrew Smith’s Stramash...

STATISTICS, STATISTICS

Spare us the mumping of Celtic fans who want to know why the media have not being going to town on the fact that Ally McCoist has a poorer success rate in his first 26 games as Rangers manager than Paul le Guen. It is a specious statistic. Just as specious, indeed, as the one that surfaced in the early months of Tony Mowbray’s Celtic tenure to the effect that he had the worst home record of any new manager at the club in modern times. The facts then were contorted so that a sectional League Cup game against Brechin could be compared to a Champions League tie against Arsenal. Curiously enough, mind, that “record” was given heavy press coverage.

UNINTENDED IMAGERY QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“It just popped up among the lads.” Dundee United’s Jon Daly explains how he came by the idea of raising money for charity by producing a calendar featuring naked shots of the Tannadice playing squad.

START OF TERM

In a break with our regular feature, we want to first foot with the phrases you will hear so often in 2012 your eardrums will be begging for mercy. Most of them from Chick Young, incidentally.

• “It is time we had summer football.”

• “Wind is the bigger ruiner of a football game.”

• “It is ridiculous asking players to play in these conditions.”

• “No-one ever stops to think about the fans.”

• “It is one rule for the Old Firm and another rule for the rest.”

• “The SPL/SFA better get their act together.”

• “Football in this country is dying and no-one seems to want to do anything about it.”

• “Clubs just don’t have any money to spend.”

• “We are an embarrassment in Europe.”

• “You need a strong Aberdeen/Hearts/Hibs if you want a healthy Scottish game.”

• “Rangers’ financial problems can be traced to the stewardship of the Ibrox club by Sir David Murray.” (Well, maybe not that last one).

• Follow @Stramash_SOS and @BurstBaw on Twitter