The best and worst of the Euro 2012 kit

The worst:

Denmark home (Adidas)

There’s something aggressive about the design, and the refusal to inject any style whatsoever into the proceedings, of Denmark’s home kit, and while this may be a deliberate intimidation tactic, will it really be effective enough to justify the wearing of something that hideous? A lazy design, best worn with a permed mullet in 1984.

Spain away (Adidas)

The Spain away shirt is so garish, we can only think it might have been designed with the legion of British tourists who will buy replicas of it from market stalls to wear on holiday to Magaluf and sweat the night away in BCM in mind. Very considerate, but if this is the case, the Spanish really should be setting them a better example.

Ireland home (Umbro)

With its giant sleeves and lacklustre green, this depressing effort looks more like something one would wear to play darts, or possibly bowls, and thus doesn’t exactly scream of the dynamism required to play football. It resembles nothing so much as a short-sleeved casual shirt, an item of clothing that should never be seen on any man.

Ukraine home (Adidas)

We can only assume the Ukraine were very much taken with the Spring/Summer 2012 trends for both pastels and tribal designs, and while an admiration for the designers who executed them (Louis Vuitton showed some lovely lemon shades, while Holly Fulton did great Aztec pieces) is no bad thing, some caution must always be exercised in adopting a catwalk look. Sadly, Ukraine have made the classic fashion mistake of trying to cram too many trends into one look, and while sherbet hues make pretty dresses, when it comes to football shirts they make a nation of unwitting fashion victims.

Sweden away (Umbro)

Judging by their kit, Sweden appear to be a little confused, and under the impression that they are in fact heading off to the inter-house volleyball tournament at a girls’ boarding school. Legendary Scandinavian design seems to have gone out the window here – what, Acne didn’t want the job?

The best:

Italy away (Puma)

In a slightly unorthodox (and let’s face it, wise) decision, Italy have opted to have their strip bear as little resemblance as possible to something you’d actually play football in, which has paid off handsomely. For other nations (Scotland springs to mind), white as the predominant colour may have been a risky move, but the sultry olive skin and flowing raven locks of which the majority of the Italian team are possessed render it a master stroke.

Poland away (Nike)

In a pleasingly inclusive move, and one we like to feel was designed to invoke solidarity with fans, Poland have gone for an away top that looks more like a slogan t-shirt than a football strip. The design is saying: “Hey, we’re just like you - you might be wearing your t-shirt to lie on the sofa eating crisps, but we’re wearing t-shirts too and we’re playing football, for our country; so in a way, so are you! It’s like we’re all in this together” – an excellent message for a host nation.

Russia home (Adidas)

In a genius stroke of subliminal messaging, Russia’s home kit looks a lot like a medal; a move of commendable inventiveness. A style-based victory, at least, is assured with this bold and somewhat Flash Gordon-esque (a quality that can only inspire confidence) design.

France away (Nike)

Tastefully minimal, neat to the point of being preppy (a transcendental quality for a football shirt), and with pleasingly elongated sleeves, the French away strip features, but of course, Breton stripes on its cuffs. While these may be somewhat clichéd, the cliché has a high incidence of correlation with the classic, and blue and white stripes should be used as often as possible, on all garments.

Germany away (Adidas)

The round neck, white collar and cuffs and classic three-stripe sleeves make this the most successfully executed of the many retro-styled strips this year. Germany’s away kit looks like a collector’s item from the 70s, of the sort Blur fans might have worn in 1996 with flared cords and Adidas Sambas, and since 90s nostalgia is currently on trend, they score double decade-plundering points.