Changing room chat: Armstrong homecoming falls flat

LANCE Armstrong may have finished among the leaders in the first stage of the Tour of California, but if the American cycling legend thought it was going to be all wine and roses on his first competitive appearance in his native country since beginning his comeback last month, then he was sadly disappointed.

Not only was the weather awful, with rain pouring down, the seven-times winner of the Tour de France also had to contend with a flat tyre and the theft of his time-trial bike, reckoned to be worth about $10,000.

"Holy hell. That was terrible," Armstrong wrote on his online Twitter feed about 15 minutes after finishing. "Maybe one of the toughest days I've had on a bike, purely based on the conditions. I'm still freezing."

Which says a lot for the American who has endured struggles with cancer and doping allegations during a historic racing career.

Armstrong later posted a picture of his missing bike, which has distinctive yellow-and-black wheels and the logo of his Livestrong foundation. "There is only one like it in the world, therefore hard to pawn. Reward being offered."

Valet bad luck for Hampshire

BERWICK Rangers were dealt a blow when new signing striker Steven Hampshire was ruled out for eight weeks after injuring his hand while cleaning a car. Hampshire runs his own car valet business and bent down to pick up some notepaper that had fallen out of a car he was working on.

Unfortunately for Hampshire his colleague moved to do the same thing at a slightly slower place and brought his right boot down on the former Stenhousemuir man's hand, resulting in snapped tendons.

Real boo-boys get to Drenthe

REAL Madrid winger Royston Drenthe was left out of the last three squads at his own request after being heckled by home fans at the Bernabeu Stadium last month, coach Juande Ramos has revealed.

"Drenthe's suffering from anxiety. He's a young lad that needs all the support of the people who work with him," Ramos said. "As his coach I will do all I can to help him."

The Netherlands youth international, 21, was mocked by Real fans during their 1-0 home win over Deportivo Coruna on 25 January and was visibly upset after the game.

TALES FROM THE TABS

SPARE THE ROD AND . . .

ROD Stewart was getting a hard time in the red tops after his chauffeur-driven limousine was allowed to pass through a police road block after the Old Firm game on Sunday.

The Daily Record and the Sun both ran reports of Rod's appearance at the 0-0 draw at Parkhead and his smooth exit from the ground afterwards.

The Sun showed a picture of "the Celtic-mad rocker" about to get a peck on the cheek from the obligatory "mystery blonde" in the stand, and quoted a police officer complaining that he had been waved through by his colleagues, while other vehicles were stopped and told to wait until the crowds had dispersed. "It's an absolute disgrace," muttered the curmudgeonly officer. "Just because it's got Rod Stewart in the back doesn't mean it should have been allowed through."

The Sun also ran a spread on abuse of the online encyclopedia Wikipedia – having spent the day mischievously hacking into the pages of Artur Boruc, Mike McCurry and Gordon Smith among others, and seeing how long it would be until they were rumbled.