Archie MacWooooof on the week in football

AHEM. Is it all right if I have a word now? I've been reading this paper all week and am frankly tired of the free publicity some young upstart commentator has been getting.

By The Newsroom

Published 15th Jan 2010, 23:35 BST

Updated 16th Jan 2010, 00:03 BST

He's only been around on TV since 1955 or something, whereas I . . . . Well, all right, I came a bit later, but I mean, when it comes to quality. . . .

And besides, Mountfraud as I like to call him was always on that distasteful commercial channel. His chat was so dull they had to keep taking breaks to perk the viewers up with talk about how many cans of India Pale Ale you could get at Haddows for sixpence and an empty jam jar.

Anyway, my ego's bigger than his ego, so woooooofffff!!! to him. Over to you, Sally, indeed.