Talk of the Town: The diagnosis is not good from Dr Google

AS EVERYONE knows, the internet is home to a terrifying range of ill-informed opinions, conspiracy theories and lies. So where better to turn to for information about your health and wellbeing?

A survey by insurers National Friendly this week revealed that 76 per cent of people in Edinburgh turn first to "Dr Google" to diagnose their illnesses before going to see their GP.

You can picture them, furiously punching their imagined symptoms into a search engine and reaching ever more exotic conclusions.

"I'm sure I'm coming down with Malayan filariasis, or a cutaneous larva migrans. If it's not that it'll be the bloomin' tungiasis again."

For those who can't contact Dr Google,

25 of the 100 people surveyed like to get their advice on medical matters from their friends and colleagues rather than their GPs.

The streets are alive with the sound of singing goats

WHEN you go to see a hit show like Andrew Lloyd Webber's revival of The Sound of Music, you often feel the catchiest songs are ringing in your ears as you leave the theatre. That's something that audiences at the Playhouse should be braced for – only this time the experience may be a little more literal than usual.

Be prepared to find yodelling goats accosting your ears as you shuffle home. The Lonely Goatherd Goats – squeeze their paw and they sing a bit like Connie Fisher – are proving a hit at the Playhouse's souvenir stall.

All in a day's Burke

THE late Bill McLaren was much too professional and far too nice a man to deliberately cause offence in his rugby commentaries.

So, in the spirit of rugby humour, let's celebrate the one moment Bill, who died this week aged 86, probably wished he could have erased. It occurred in January 1995 when Ireland took the field with a young stand-off making his debut.

"And there's Paul Burke, the new Ireland cap, who was born in London and comes from a large family. In fact, I believe there's a lot of Burkes over from England to see this lad play today . . ."

Cabbie's fare-ly big mistake

A TAXI driver managed to put both his feet in it the other day when he picked up Independent MSP Margo MacDonald and her SNP Lothians colleague Ian McKee to take them back to the Scottish Parliament.

First, he appeared not to recognise Margo, and when she said it must be because the picture in the paper made her look so much younger, he agreed – only to spend the rest of the journey trying to backtrack on his faux pas.

Then, as the duo were getting out, the driver remarked to Margo about "your husband here" and said to Dr McKee: "You're Jim Sillars, aren't you?"