Alexander McCall Smith: All this talk about British identity is turning people Irish

Irish passports seem to have become rather popular for reasons that have something to do with current political issues around British identity, writes Alexander McCall Smith.
Having, or somehow acquiring, an Irish grandmother seems to have become suddenly popular (Picture: George Pickow/Three Lions/Hulton Archive/Getty)Having, or somehow acquiring, an Irish grandmother seems to have become suddenly popular (Picture: George Pickow/Three Lions/Hulton Archive/Getty)
Having, or somehow acquiring, an Irish grandmother seems to have become suddenly popular (Picture: George Pickow/Three Lions/Hulton Archive/Getty)

In an age of identity politics, we are told that identity has once again become important. Francis Fukuyama – he who announced, prematurely, perhaps, the end of history – is certainly of this view, as he explains in his recent book, Identity. But it is not just in the political arena that identity has been a much-discussed topic: philosophers have long been concerned with the problem of personal identity and what makes us the same person across time (t). As a philosopher might put it, is p (a person) the same entity at t1 as at t2? To which Joxer Daly, the inimitable bar-room philosopher of Seán O’Casey’s Juno and the Paycock, might say: “That’ s the question, Captain! That’s the question!”

Joxer Daly was quintessentially Irish, as was O’Casey. And that ties in with my theme of Irishness, in that I have been thinking recently about how many people have suddenly become Irish. An old friend of mine, whom I had always believed to have been Welsh to begin with, and who then became Scottish by habit and repute – to use the old term of informal marriage in Scots law – suddenly announced that he was Irish and acquired an Irish passport to prove it. This, of course, was something to do with the recent political uncertainties surrounding British and indeed Scottish identity, into which we do not currently need to go. Suffice it to say that he had identified an Irish grandmother and acquired his new nationality on the strength of that.

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Irish grandmothers are very useful. Many people who did not know that they had an Irish grandmother are now discovering that they have one, and writing off for their new Irish passports on the strength of that. Others who may not have ready access to an Irish grandmother have been investigating the possibility of acquiring one, and have, in many cases, succeeded in finding perfectly serviceable Irish grandmothers at very little cost. This process reminds one of the wonderful scene in di Lampedusa’s novel, The Leopard, in which the wealthy parvenu to Sicilian society is introduced as a man who has many distinguished ancestors, or, if he does not currently have them, will surely have some soon.

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Irish grandmothers come in the living or dead category. There is a strong argument against acquiring a living Irish grandmother, as this may involve future expenditure in terms of birthday presents and so on. Deceased grandmothers are more convenient in every respect, and cannot in any event challenge your assertion that you are their grandchild. This is important when you are applying for your Irish passport, as it can delay matters if the grandmother on which you base your claim appears to have no knowledge of your existence. You can try putting this down to forgetfulness on her part, but that may be difficult to establish.

How do you establish your Irishness for passport purposes? Many people, without a great deal of Irish ancestry in their past, are put off from applying because they fear that documentary evidence will be required, and they have none. This is unnecessarily defeatist: Irish Consulates are usually very agreeable places, staffed by charming persons of impeccable Irishness, and usually more than happy to help. I’m sure, in most cases, they will take you at your word, and if you insist that you are Irish and do so in a reasonably credible way, they will come up with the passport by return post (signature required). But do not overdo it. Some applicants go to the consular authorities dressed entirely in green. This is not advisable, as Irish consular officials can usually see through that sort of thing. All is required is the occasional phrase that indicates Irishness, such as “Would you look at that sky now. Sure, aren’t we in for a spot of rain, so we are.” That will do it. Do not attempt to speak Irish to the officials, nor to fill in your form in Irish, unless you are skilled in the language. You may end up applying in Early Irish, which is quite different from the modern language, and being given, as a consequence, an Early Irish passport, which is of very little use.

On the subject of grandmothers, the question might be asked: “If an Irish grandmother is so useful, of what use is a Scottish grandmother?” This is a very interesting question, the answer to which is that a Scottish grandmother will entitle you to play rugby for Scotland. Many people are unaware of this rule, which is applied with generosity and admirable consistency by the Scottish Rugby Union. If you have such a grandmother, then you are entitled to play rugby for Scotland and, furthermore, entitled to be selected. This rule applies whether or not you have any knowledge of the game, although caution should be exercised before putting yourself on the national team. Rugby is a contact sport, and not everybody enjoys that sort of contact.

Going back to the newly Irish. Once they have got their Irish passports, how can people enjoy their new Irishness? Brian O’Nolan, also known as Myles na gCopaleen of the Irish Times, is the best source of advice on this issue. Read Myles and you will find many helpful tips as to the attitudes you can strike if you are Irish. It is a very comfortable identity to have, so it is. But don’t leave it too late; get your Irish passport soon, and begin to enjoy a year of living Irishly. Highly recommended.