Prepare for ‘pandemic of grief’ after missed Covid funerals, say experts

The UK is facing a “grief pandemic” after almost half of bereaved adults were denied the ability to say goodbye to their loved ones during lockdown, a report has warned.

Some 59 per cent of mourners believe their grieving process has been negatively affected by the coronavirus restrictions, while just over one quarter expressed guilt that their loved one did not have the funeral they deserved.

A survey of almost 10,000 adults, commissioned by Co-op Funeralcare, found that 47 per cent of bereaved adults in the UK were denied a final farewell in the weeks following 23 March, when the country went into lockdown.

This includes those who were unable to say goodbye to their loved one before their death, attend a funeral or view the deceased, according to the funeral provider.

Restrictions on the number of attendees to restrict the spread of Covid-19 meant that many were unable to attend services held in memory of their loved ones, with churches and crematoriums closed to the public.

The Nation in Mourning report – the first in a series looking at how the nation deals with grief – says the impact of funeral restrictions are only just emerging, with experts warning the UK is on the “brink of a grief pandemic”.

The YouGov survey, carried out between 7 and 13 May, found that 2,008 out of 9,551 respondents had experienced a bereavement during lockdown, with 9 per cent stating the death was due to coronavirus.

When asked about the most important way to say goodbye, some 42 per cent of respondents said being present for their death, while 33 per cent chose attending a funeral or memorial service.

Some 37 per cent of mourners said they were unable to pay their respects by attending a funeral, while 45 per cent said the funeral went ahead, or is due to go ahead, with restricted attendees only.

Meanwhile, some 10 per cent of those who experienced a bereavement said attending a virtual funeral, live-streamed for those unable to be there, aided in their grieving process.

Just over three fifths (61 per cent) said nothing has helped them to grieve, which the report warns could present the nation with a prolonged period of mourning for months, or even years, to come.

Since June there has been a gradual easing of restrictions, with funerals in places or worships now permitted to have up to 30 mourners.

David Collingwood, director of funerals at Co-op Funeralcare said: “A funeral provides a sense of closure for bereaved families and is very often the start of the grieving process.

“Tragically, we don’t yet know what the long-term psychological effects will be for families denied the last opportunity to say goodbye, so it is vital that we do everything possible to allow families and individuals to attend funerals, whilst always prioritising the health and safety of our communities.”

Andy Langford, clinical director at Cruse Bereavement Care, said: “The coronavirus pandemic has meant it is an incredibly distressing time to be grieving, whenever your bereavement occurred.

“Many people have been grieving in isolation, unable to attend funerals, say goodbye, and be close to those they love.

“When you feel you have no control over how you can experience those last moments with someone, this can have a profound impact on the grieving process.”

Former Wales rugby internationalist Gareth Thomas, who lost his uncle during the coronavirus outbreak, has said: “My uncle sadly died alone in hospital as we weren’t allowed to visit. It was heart-breaking to think of him on his own – and then all the formalities that had to be dealt with, such as the funeral, sorting out his will, and organising probate. It was all extremely difficult, and made an already-tough situation a lot worse.”

He added: “Death is incredibly stressful – especially if it’s the first time someone has had to deal with a death.”