Fordyce Maxwell: My earliest memory of tablet is my gran stirring a small pan on an open fire

There’s a lot said about the Scots’ penchant for anything heavy on sugar and light on sensible, but tablet must be right up there as a diet-buster. So, intent on getting back to the weight I was when I worked hard physically and played football – two stones lighter in two years, more to go, thank you for the applause – you might wonder why we were making tablet at all.

Good question. We have made it before, obviously, but long ago, and our extensive range of cookery books – that’s the Royal “our” – proved mainly unhelpful. However, an internet recipe by an expatriate in Canada, not only gave a step-by-step guide, with warnings, but reminded us that tablet is “like toffee, but not chewy, like fudge, but more grainy, basically a wee bit of heaven in an otherwise dreich country”.

Harsh, but fair, although my earliest memory of it is my Northumbrian gran stirring a small pan of tablet makings on an open fire. My second memory is being given a piece, with immediate acquisition of the sweet tooth I’ve fought against ever since.

Back to cases. For experimental purposes – the experiment was on a “need to know” basis and as, apparently, I don’t need to know I can’t enlighten you – Liz proposed to make tablet. About 3lbs by my calculations, checking the ingredients while being smacked away from testing the consistency of the condensed milk.

A lot of tablet for two people, I said. Don’t be silly, she said. Just stir. So I did. As our Canadian guru points out in his excellent advice, sugar boils at a much higher temperature than water and splashes burn. Lazy stirring can also cause sticking to the bottom of the pan, and burning.

As a lapsed WRI member once described her cooking to my mother – “If it’s broon, it’s cooked, if it’s black, it’s buggered” – so with tablet, although it should be more creamy golden than brown.

And success with it, I remembered as my arm began to ache, lies with vigorous stirring when the pan comes off heat. The aim is to get crystals large enough to set, small enough to pour into the tray. Sensing the correct degree of grittiness comes with practice.

That’s why our experimental, large, tray of tablet tasted wonderful – come on, I’ve been on Ryvita, cottage cheese and fruit since New Year – but remained too soft to be the genuine article. I nabbed what I could, but Liz gave most away before serious damage was done to my arteries.

I’m now waiting for the re-make. I may wait some time. «