Talk of the Town: Labour bid to blow their own trumpets

THEY are full of hot air, extremely unpopular and make a seemingly endless, irritating droning noise – so perhaps the Scottish Parliament is the perfect place for them.

Labour Party researchers at Holyrood are considering mounting a campaign for the Parliament shop to start selling the controversial fan-trumpet, the vuvuzela.

The noisy horns have become the hallmark of the 2010 World Cup, with players and spectators complaining that the noise has ruined their enjoyment of games.

Now Labour has suggested they could be put to good use when Alex Salmond gets to his feet at First Minister's Questions.

Falling for committee's persuasive techniques

GRASSROOTS organisations sometimes struggle to find people to join their committees, so when Leith Business Association chairman Gordon Burgess was on a recruitment drive, he decided that extreme measures were in order.

As he tried to persuade Emma Hall, owner of Emma Hall Hair Design on Leith Walk, to join the LBA's committee, he

offered to take part in the next fundraising event carried out by Emma and her staff, if she would sign up for the committee.

Emma must have thought she was off the hook when she told him their next challenge was an abseiling expedition off the Forth Rail Bridge.

However, Gordon called her bluff, and roped up. Between them they all raised more than 1,600 for Chest, Heart and Stroke Scotland and Alzheimer's Scotland.

Breakfast is hard to swallow

IT is perhaps one of the bleakest breakfast appointments – the Edinburgh Chamber of Commerce briefings to discuss how key decisions in the Budget will affect businesses in the city.

Normally an annual event, when the last of these breakfasts was held after Alistair Darling delivered his last budget, many predicted they would meet again soon.

And, sure enough, new Chancellor George Osborne was today set to deliver his first budget address. That means, for the second time in three months, city business figures will gather for what is sure to be a portion of doom and gloom served up with their bacon and eggs.

Stick to the instructions

IN OTHER budget news, thousands of protestors are expected to take to the streets this evening to protest the expected savage cuts.

There has been plenty of enthusiasm, with posters advertising the event

plastered to bins, bus stops and even shop fronts. All of which must be a little disheartening to the designer, who included at the bottom of each poster the simple instruction: "Not for flyposting".