A run for his money

MT: We’d hate to see you leave. You’ve been popular with our core viewers.

JR: I know, Mark. It’s a wrench. A monkey wrench!

MT: I hope it’s not because we’re moving your show to BBC Scotland. They’ve got great facilities at Pacific Quay.

JR: I don’t think so, Mark. Nothing there to spend the money on.

MT: We can look creatively at a new role for you. Big interviews in prime time slots.

And I was rather hoping you might do a series – you know, a Night On the Town with Jonathan Ross, starting with Vince Cable.

JR: Sounds great, Mark. But not much fun. And the sort of TV I do is fun.

MT: I’m glad you think that, Jonathan. It hasn’t been much fun for me.

JR: I’ve brought in all those viewers. You’ll never get as good a replacement.

MT: Well, I was rather hoping you might stay in some capacity, perhaps on radio, helping older callers with your skills and knowledge.

JR: I’m hot on the money, Mark. The folding stuff, the spondulicks…

MT: Excellent! How about hosting Radio Four’s Moneybox Live?

JR: Whoever listens to that?

MT: It’s got your name all over it!

JR: I’m off. Post the cheque, won’t you?