John Gibson: Don't panic Norrie, it's in the post

Topper and tails. I can picture Norrie Rowan at the Canongate Kirk's posh wedding next month. The snag - he hasn't had an invitation.

It's a rugby affair, after all, and Rowan, oft described in this column as a "roustabout", has played for Scotland, he's an Edinburgh businessman of repute and I'm beginning to wonder. Is it because they're worried he might steal the show?

Rowan rubbishes the idea. "The invitation's bound to be in the post. I'll be there on July 30 regardless, brandishing a banner saying: THE BOW-TOWS WELCOME THE SECOND GREAT MICHAEL.

"I've never met Mike Tindall (England's rugby captain and the groom-to-be) but I've been introduced a few times to Princess Anne, mother of bride-to-be Zara Phillips.

"I want to be there in whatever capacity. Mike plays for Gloucester and his teammate Rory Lawson has an invitation to the wedding. Rory's dad Alan . . . I trust you're still with me . . . hopes Mike will be wearing the McLaren tartan."

Nostalgic note here. Alan Lawson's father-in-law was Bill McLaren, the late voice of rugby. Alan is a prospective vice-president of the SRU.

Rowan, about to swan off to Ibiza for the weekend, unfailingly has a merry quip on his tongue. "What do you call groupies who hang around with rugby players? Backs. Backs are the guys with the clean shorts."

I should tell you that The Great Michael, launched in Newhaven in 1511, was the largest warship ever built in Europe and, the story goes, every oak tree in Inverleith Park and Fife was felled to build it. How come it costs a bomb to build an aircraft carrier today? Newhaveners in those days were nicknamed Bowtows, bow an abbreviation for buoys, and tows for ropes.