House-hunters will get hard cell on this property

IT’S more ex-con than mod cons; rather more GBH than GCH; more hard cell than soft sell. And it has what might be described as an arresting appeal to the house-hunter looking for something different.

With a rash disregard for the mores of political correctness, the vendor has described this new-on-the-market and most unusual property as “the ideal place to hide your mother-in-law”.

It might equally be said that it is the ideal place to hide your father-in-law if he had encountered the long arm of the law, but the sale of a former police station, complete with a unique cell-ing point (UCP), is intriguing.

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What might one use the UCP of this property – the seven metres by ten metres cell with a bench, plaster walls, a window of glass bricks and a very secure door – for if you could afford the 29,000 asking price?

If there were family ructions, it could indeed house the mother-in-law, or the father-in-law, or both, as one can safely assume that the cell is soundproof as well as escape-proof.

But there might be an even better use for this des res. Where better to put the troublesome teenagers than somewhere safe, secure and from which, if you have the key, there is no way out?

Given this attraction, it’s bound to be a cell-ers market