Gareth Edwards: On the Box

Celebrity Big Brother (C4, 9pm, Last night)

YES, it's back. Just when you thought it was safe to come out from behind the leftover turkey and tentatively switch on your TV, the seventh, and hopefully final, series of celebrity hamster cage is back for more inane conversation, unedifying abuse and pointless tasks.

Sunday's night's arrival show featured the usual boos and jeers from the baying mob which seems to have taken up permanent residence outside the BB house - presumably only nipping away to update their giant day-glo signs with the latest catchy/abusive slogans.

Particular highlights of the opening day included Hollywood 'actor' Stephen Baldwin - who seems to exist by flitting from one reality TV show to the next - awkwardly greeting Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss, who generously pointed out that she's met him before, to which Baldwin replied only that it was a long time ago.

Another stand-out moment – or walk-out moment, depending on your threshold for this kind of psychological torture – was the sight of Alex Reid, the cross-dressing cage fighter and paramour of former Page 3 stunna Jordan, hugging Dane Bowers, the talentless, er, bloke who also one enjoyed a romantic entanglement with Katie Price's alter-ego.

The pair had allegedly been involved in a pre-show punch up, and while they are clearly trying to put it behind them producers will surely be hoping sparks will fly, while at the same time doing absolutely nothing to make sure the housemates are at each others throats faster than you can say "I'm bored, what's on Sky?"

This year's hot tip is Vinnie Jones, the ex-Wimbledon hardman who is still more famous for grabbing Gazza's happy sacks on the field than for his career as a Hollywood actor.

So far he's been the quiet one, helping other housemates learn the rules, listening patiently while born-again Christian Stephen assaulted him with Bible readings, getting pelted with paintballs and generally appearing to be an all-round good sport.

Whether the volatile mix of the semi-deaf Stephanie Beacham and the totally moronic Sisqo will keep viewers glued to their seats remains to be seen. Watch this space if you dare.