Case of the watercolour and the water closet

HULLO, hullo, hullo – what’s all this then? Let me get my notebook, sir. Picture stolen from the Signet Library, eh? A venue synonymous with prestige and Georgian elegance, you say? Hmm. And owned by an association of Scottish lawyers? A right gang of criminals if you ask me.

And what was going on around the time of the disappearance exactly? A conference of historians on John Knox and the Scottish Reformation – with the former Bishop of Edinburgh Richard Holloway? A discussion on the impact of 16th century Protestant Reformation on the modern Scottish psyche? On New Year’s Day? Doesn’t get any rowdier, does it?

Now then. What painting was it? I Cannae Hear Ye? Pardon, I cannae hear ye. Oh, right. A watercolour called I Cannae Hear Ye by the artist Tom Scott. And where was the painting? In a basement outside the toilets. Just where you’d expect to find a painting called I Cannae Hear Ye. Well, I’ll need a list, of course, of all those who attended the conference. Two hundred, you reckon? Can’t start too soon on the interviews. Bit like Cluedo, eh? We’ll start in the Library with the Rev Green. Then Professor Brown. And the porter of course, Mr Black. We’ll be sending round the full forensics team – blood samples, DNA swabs, fibre analysis, the lot. Oh, and this John Knox. Does he have an alibi?