John Gibson: Happy to leave it all to the dogs

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You might think I’m barking but, tucked away down an alley off Musselburgh’s High Street is a kind of Aladdin’s Cave.

It’s a charity fundraiser for
Hearing Dogs for the Deaf.

A priceless source of cash for an excellent cause. Janie McGregor is chairperson of the committee who run the organisation. “We started in 1996 on my 40th birthday. We’re all volunteers, from teenagers to a 93-year-old, a grand old lady who does five hours a week.

“Seventy per cent of our dogs are sent from the Dog and Cat Home and breeders donate pups for training as hearing dogs.”

Janie has two Labradors of her own, outwith the charity.

Stooges get stuck

Jailbirds must get the right to see television in their cells in time for Christmas. Who says so? The European Court of Human Rights, would you know? And who’s taking the order lying down, a pussycat? Call Me Dave Cameron, of course. Our Prime Minister, caught with his knickers down over the Magna Carta. Sounds like a Spanish or Italian whine, didn’t it, Dave ?

Cameron, Clegg and Miliband . . the three stooges. What chance do we have? A snowball’s.

Whae wants it?

It’s the big itch. Itch for heedorumhoderum time yet again. Itch hochaye the noo. But hey, don’t mock. We are about to squander more money on things Gaelic. I’ll take it in my coffee, otherwise I’ll run a mile.

Gaelic is to be promoted at Holyrood, rammed down the throats of front-line staff, so they can chunter to visitors.

Time and again we have to ask whae speaks Gaelic, whae wants it, whae needs it?. The answer, inviting as a shinty stick, is NAEBODY.

But there are enough heathery hustlers at Holyrood to persuade MSPs to fritter our cash away. Comeback, Callum Kennedy, all is still not forgiven.