Janet Christie’s Mum’s the Word

It’s parental payback time
By The Newsroom
Published 26th Mar 2019, 17:27 BST
Updated 26th Mar 2019, 17:33 BST
PIC PHIL WILKINSON.TSPL / JOHNSTON PRESS JANET CHRISTIE , MAGAZINE WRITERPIC PHIL WILKINSON.TSPL / JOHNSTON PRESS JANET CHRISTIE , MAGAZINE WRITER
PIC PHIL WILKINSON.TSPL / JOHNSTON PRESS JANET CHRISTIE , MAGAZINE WRITER

If you’re still at the beginning of your parenting adventure and taking baby steps, here’s a message from the other side.

It’ll be a long time coming, but it appears that at the end of the tunnel there’s a new zone entitled parental payback.

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It seems there is a time when you get to bask in the knowledge that not only might you have been right all along, but your adversaries, sorry loved ones, agree with you.

“Yes, I do have to bathe piercings or 
they go foosty”, and “I wish I’d taken more advantage of school at the time” and “yes, you’re right about olives”. All the more satisfying served cold.

So if you currently spend a lot of 
time crying in the shower or wearing pyjamas 24/7, ca’ canny and don’t worry about a thing, because eventually, they grow up. They turn into adults. And adults don’t slam their bedroom doors and tell you they hate you and that you’re ruining their life. (If they do, put them out.)

No, adults say things like, “thanks for teaching me to make veggie sausage stew, because I should know at my age. Though it’s still not as good as yours.” (Like I’m going to fall for that, you’re making your own from now on, son). Payback for years of cooking.

Or they say, “It’s raining, I’ll collect you from work in the car”. Payback for paying for driving lessons..

Cups of tea appear by your bedside, you’re invited to go for walks (!) to the pub (!!). But absolutely the best part about payback time is you can buy them Christmas presents you want yourself and know they’ll like them too.

Which is why I found myself along with the grown-up weans watching The Wailers in The Weeg – the tickets were Christmas presents.

“Best gig ever,” says Eldest. “Best 
family day out yet,” says Middle. Youngest doesn’t say anything because she’s too busy dancing and singing along to Three Little Birds: “Don’t worry, about a thing, ‘cause every little thing gonna be all right. Singin’ don’t worry, about a thing, ‘cause every little thing gonna be all right.”

And this is my message to you-ou-ou.