Family: Janet Christie

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New Year’s resolutions? Really, what kind of losers come up with such nonsense? That’s what I would say, if my resolution wasn’t Don’t Be Negative.

Forced as I was by those around me to make some (I was cooking tea and couldn’t escape) I came up with my usual: Get Through The Year (which I break down into Get Through the Week x 52). So far things are going to plan and it’s One Week Got Through by tomorrow, woohoo.

Then I came up with Don’t Be Negative because Eldest has been reading one of his books again, about releasing your creativity, and banging on to me about naysayers within and blocks to realising your ambitions (I would have said I didn’t have any ambitions, but…) He said I seemed ‘resigned to being in a rut’ (and here’s me thinking I was displaying work ethic, perseverance and dogged determination – how’s that for positivity?). So I thought OK, he might be right. I’ll give it a go, watch a couple of Ted Talks and eat more kale.

So I’ve been positive all week, although my friend snorted when I told her this, which I would say was a bit negative, but there are only so many double negatives I can cope with and maintain an upbeat vibe.

The rest of the resolutions being bandied about included Stop Smoking (one of the resolvers doesn’t even smoke, apart from the occasional puff when his vape’s run out and it usually makes him faint which allows me to say to young passers by who see me holding his feet above his head, ‘don’t do drugs kids’ which is gratifying).

The boys both have Put On Weight (at least a stone and a half), all of my offspring being blessed by tall, thin genes that mean they can have two 
teas daily and wear what they like. Are they happy with this? Course not, they envy my big bones (big bones = positive speak for ‘runs to fat if looks at a muffin’) and small tallness (positive speak for short).

So negative. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this year surrounded by so much negativity, it’s really dragging me down.