Talk of the Town: Don’t be stumped, see Old Firm stars

IF it’s a party you’re after, then this pair are certainly the men to get it started.

The normally tranquil setting of West Lothian Cricket Club is set to be rocked by a Christmas bash starring legendary Old Firm revellers Andy Goram – who played cricket for Scotland – and former Celt Frank McAvennie.

Ibrox hero Goram, who has been the subject of many a lurid tabloid headline, and McAvennie, of “where’s the burds?” fame, are set to perform a double act at the club’s “Sunday Sesh” on December 16.

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A club spokesman said: “We expect an afternoon of anecdotes, laughs and a ‘no holds barred’ question and answer session.”

As previous employers of the duo have found, it pays not to “expect” anything.

Outgoing gorillas have longer, happier lives

A NEW study has found that gorillas with extrovert personalities live longer than their more introverted peers.

An international team of researchers led by Edinburgh University said the findings were consistent with studies in people which found that extroverts tend to live longer.

They studied 298 gorillas in North American zoos and sanctuaries for over 18 years.

Who said monkeying around didn’t get you anywhere?

There’s bad and poo-bad

AS the debate rages on about the branding of Edinburgh amid the row over “Incredinburgh”, perhaps we should take inspiration from our friends south of the Border.

In a move aimed at stamping out the problem of dog dirt in Preston, city chiefs there have an anti-dog mess campaign called “Poo-Dunnit”.

And you thought the agency behind Edinburgh’s slogan made a mess of it . . .

Old habits die hard

WE told last week how residents who turned up early for their first taste of the new neighbourhood centre library in Craigmillar faced a battle to get inside after the automatic doors failed.

But it turns out, it wasn’t just the entrance that left locals baffled.

One man trying to find the £7.7 million East Neighbourhood Centre and Craigmillar Library was left puzzled when he tried to enter the old council offices across the road – despite metal shutters having been pulled down over the front of the building.

When the brand spanking new three-storey building was pointed out to him, he simply muttered in disgust and wandered off.