Talk of the Town: Dominion fails to screen phoneline

CALLERS to the Dominion Cinema in Morningside at the weekend were treated to X-rated stream of profanity after an red-faced announcer blundered through the film schedules.

It has been reported that while recording the information hotline, he burst out “Oh f*** it!” and then “f*** me” when he got it wrong.

But instead of replacing the expletive-laden message, he mistakenly left it on, meaning the air turned blue for scores of ticket buyers.

The historic cinema has now got a strict PG-rating of its own.

Lothian couriers are popping up everywhere

FIRST it kept leaflets in steady supply at the festival, then the boss careered around in a tank – and now it has been putting the fizz into morning telly.

Eagle Couriers has become something of a TOTT regular over the last few weeks, and has now attracted the attention of Irn-Bru, which hired the firm to deliver a special package to the presenters of ITV show Daybreak.

Scotland’s own Lorraine Kelly and co-host Aled Jones are now well-stocked up on the orange carbonated soft drink.

Fiona Deas, director of Eagle Couriers, said: “We were delighted when we got the call from Irn-Bru to help them deliver the package to TV legends Lorraine Kelly and Aled Jones.

“It is always a great moment in the office when we learn that we have a high-profile delivery to make and it shows that my drivers must be doing a great job.”

Whatever will they get up to next? We wait with bated breath.

Give us a break, Mark

IT seems it’s not just the pupils who are bemoaning their return to school.

According to a new survey, an overwhelming majority of Capital mums are suffering the back-to-school blues.

Holiday park company Butlins says 83 per cent have been struck by September sadness, with a return to the term-time regime of uniforms, homework and tantrums highlighted as the main reason. Others, meanwhile, just miss a good excuse to get out of work early.

And almost as if Butlins has an ulterior motive for releasing its research, it’s wheeled out Mark Hunter, its director of happiness – do not adjust your set, “director of happiness” is not an error – to helpfully suggest a few days away in the October holidays would give miserable mums something to looking forward to.

Thinking of anywhere in particular, Mark?