Talk of the Town: Bird in the hand for police

IT’S a story straight from the files of Police Squad – local officers were left in a flap after being called out to deal with an aggressive swan.

The bird fell fowl of the law after stopping in the middle of a busy road in Musselburgh.

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FOOTBALL fans love poking fun at their rivals, especially with a well-designed banner.

Celtic fans unfurled perhaps the most intricate interactive banner yet during their recent match against Hearts.

After hanging an image of Tynecastle Stadium, fans below then held up an image of a bulldozer driven by Hector the taxman, which was dragged across the stadium. Then the first banner was dropped – to reveal an image of a demolished Tynecastle replaced by a big “Gorgie flats” sign.

Hearts fans were less than thrilled.

Anyone interested can see the banner on YouTube.

Nicht the nicht for Tesco

JINGS, crivvens, and help ma boab – fresh from it’s horse burger scandal, Tesco is now being blamed for changing the way we speak.

The Scots Language Centre says Tesco and other supermarkets have changed our speech by using “Burns Night” instead of the traditional “Burns Nicht”.

Talk of the Town would like to help set this straight – all together now: “It’s a braw, bricht moonlicht nicht the nicht.”

Politicians frying high in parly race

TOP politicians will be bidding to prove they are far from flipping when they hold their annual Rehab Parliamentary Pancake Race.

MP for Edinburgh South Ian Murray is already preparing to help MPs retain their 2012 title when they face

off against members from the House of Lords and the Parliamentary Press Gallery.