John Gibson: Time they put some clothes on

I put it to you, in the name of God. Is The Kiss, billed as one of the world’s most iconic sculptures, pornographic?

The stark all-white piece has a man and a woman, devoid of garments, in an embrace that has to be X-rated. It’s what art lovers call “a celebration of love” and we’ve got it right here in Edinburgh at the Scottish National Gallery for a year.

It’s what respectable mums and dads would hide from their offspring’s gaze.

A man of the world, seen it all, but for me this is unadulterated porn and you won’t catch me sneaking into the Gallery. Not even in the Columbo-style raincoat.

To the cavorting couple I proffer this advice. Cover up. In this weather you’ve got to be shivering, you’ll catch your death. Even while you’re celebrating love. It’ll be all white on the night.

Selling at the door, by the way, a souvenir brochure, One Shade Of White.

Lunch crunch

It’s a hassle in Hanover Street keeping a restaurant open there seven days, tabling three-course lunches at £7.95. I’ve had Angelo Pontone, who runs the iconic La Rusticana with son Paul, telling me times have never been tougher.

The eatery merits an “iconic” tag, having been, for 23 years, a prominent part of a street strewn with restaurants. Strewn Italian-style predominantly.